sad

hay... i just feel so sad today... Dale went home from school and when i saw his diary, it was stamped with a note from the guidance office. he was sent there coz he hit his classmate (Ryuji) with a pencil. Ryuji got a nasty cut on the side of his face near his ear.

Though Ryuji explained that it was his fault, coz he kept on nudging Dale's hand when he was drawing causing him to miss some lines, that is no excuse for Dale to hurt anyone... this was one of my worst fears when I knew that he'll be starting regular school. iba na kasi syempre pag regular school... mas mahigpit... pwede siyang makickout sa dami ng violations...

i know i'm being hard on him and myself... pero i can't help it. i worry lagi... gusto ko lang talaga siya mapabuti... i'm not wishing for anything grand... i'm not after medals... i just want him to be... NORMAL.

i talked to Dale and as punishment i made him write HITTING IS BAD in two pieces of paper. Of course, i had to tell some lies.... and that if he keep on doing bad things, he will be sent back to SPED. that i feel bad and if he keeps on doing bad things, i might get sick and be sent to the hospital... i know, i'm evil. i hate it.