Friday, September 01, 2006

Please Watch Alyana

My son, Dale, is on the film.... read about it here...

==================================

Autism Society Philippines Metro South Chapter Activity for September:

FILM SHOWING ON ALYANA - A Study of Autism in the Philippines

Schedule:

September 30, 2006

*First Screening - 2 pm
*Second Screening - 5 pm

Venue:

Ann Arbor Montessorri Learning Center Auditorium
# 390, El Grande Avenue, BF Homes, ParaƱaque City

Ticket Prices:

P 150.00 - ASP member
P 200.00 - non-member

For further inquiries, please contact Mr. Evert Malapad (Chapter President) @ 09176424290 / 09215666192. You can also inquire at ASP - National Office (9266941 / 4368713)

for more information, visit Autism Society Philippines.

thanks!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Ako Ay Filipino

Arolf's first Sabayang Pagbigkas (Linggo ng Wika)

I got there just in time to watch him perform, sad that I didn't get to catch it on video near enough. He's the one constantly wiping his mouth. Hehe.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

A cure for autism?

from an egroup that i am a member of:

======================

Sometimes I feel angry when I read about attempts being made to 'cure' autism.

I do not wish to be 'cured' from my autism, and many autistic persons who are able to communicate their feelings, say the same thing.

Autism is not something that I have, it is something that I am. Autism is in every emotion I experience, in every thought I think. Autism is throughout my philosophy, my political beliefs, my religious convictions. Autism affects my choice of job, my taste in clothes, my favourite music and literature, the artforms I like, and those I dislike. I am autistic in my views on humanity, my opinion of individual persons, Everything!

Autism is not a cage, with us as the prisoners. You cannot talk about a person 'emerging' from autism.

If it were possible to remove autism from a person, you would get a different person. A person who, perhaps, fits in better with his surroundings. Maybe a person who abides by the rules of society more. A person who does not stick out. That person will look identical to the previous one, but will be a different person nonetheless.

Another autistic person said that when people talk about curing an autistic person, what they are actually saying is that they wish that instead of this person, there was someone else who is more 'normal'. Naturally that is not a nice thing to hear if you are the person they're talking about.

I'm not against medications which will alleviate some of the symptoms or problems of autism. For example, if there were something which would filter out the 'noise' of a crowded room and let us concentrate on one conversation, that would be very useful. If there were something that would help autistic people make eye contact (some autistics find this impossible), that too would help.

However anything that would alter my mind is so abhorrent an idea that I view it in the same light as homicide. I even find hypnosis horrifying. The idea of anyone else taking control of my mind and manipulating it is unthinkable.

I know that when people talk about curing autism they mean well, but they really don't know what they are talking about. Please keep any such cure away from me. Star Trek fans will understand what I mean when I say I don't want to be assimilated into the collective.

--Author Unknown


===================


and i say...

i respect people with Autism... especially those who can now think for themselves... i am reacting in behalf of those who still cannot... those, who, maybe, don't know the difference.

i am reacting in behalf of the parents and the family...

the term 'cure' is associated with a disease. since Autism is not a disease, but a disorder, it really is inappropriate to use the term 'cure' for it.

I do use the term 'cure' exactly as it is written here, with quotation marks, since other words for some things you wanna happen, is either too long or incomplete.

if i use a definition for the word 'cure', the internet will provide you with this:

remedy: a medicine or therapy that cures disease or relieve pain

i am not a hypocrite person. don't i want my son to be relieved of any medicine or therapy to better his condition? to find a remedy...

by doing the therapies, the schooling, the medicines, the intervention... aren't you really CHANGING him, into a different person? if you're not, why are we going through all of these? if the adults with autism weren't given intervention, where would they be now? would they be able to write masterpieces like the one above? would they be able to hold a pen, or type on a pc?

in the first place, Autism is still a puzzle for us all. There are bits and pieces where this disorder came from, there are myths, it's genetic, it's not... maybe it's mercury poisoning! who knows?

some methods and interventions apply to others, whilst not to some...

for me, what's important is the future... not just for my son, but for babies who will be born with the same disorder... if they really can pinpoint how to 'prevent' or 'cure' this condition, i'll be elated.

especially if your son suddenly asks you...

"mom, do i have ADHD? it says in the book the kid drives his mom crazy... i drive you crazy, too?"

(he was able to get a hold of my book about it and read it without my knowledge)

or when he asks you...

"what's a special school? why did i go to a special school?"

and when he tells you while he was crying locked in his room, and you're at the door trying to tell him to open it...

"mom, you have to help me... i'm trying to control it, but when i get mad, i don't have patience... when i get mad, my head hurts..."


that, coming from my 7 year old son. i think he's starting to realize that he's a little 'different' than kids in regular school now. when the time comes that he's ready to be on his own and think for himself, then i'd be ready to let him go.. =)

Monday, August 14, 2006

Life Changing Disease

sorry at di nakakapag-update... hehe...

getting sick with a dreadful disease with no assurance of getting better takes a lot of time, patience, and sleep. =)

i was busy getting checked-up, blood tests, getting a second opinion, and all that.. plus my medicines are giving me a hard time concentrating on anything else.

Dale (Arolf) is doing better in his writing in school... i think the teachers are doing a great job... they're getting stricter! and that's best for him...

We're having trouble now with his unexpected fear of the dark... he always shouts when he sees noone is around...

He almost always shouts now, and is a bit troubling for me... yesterday, i have to call him inside my room and gave him a massage, to cool him down... He wanted his sister, Anea, to play the pc and follow his instructions... but Anea, refused. So, he started screaming!

I think I'd better try the Epsom Salt thing that I have been reading from the ASP group.

anyway, here are some recent pictures of Dale.. He's in his gala uniform! He looks so... old! haha...

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Of course, when Tony saw we were taking pictures, he asked his Kuya if he could also wear the gala uniform:

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too big, no? =) btw, last friday, the Daycare center Tony goes to didn't have classes coz the teachers had a seminar on Autism given by ASP... Hooray! At least, some hope in Pasay... I'm still hoping someone could put up a Pasay City chapter of ASP... =)

since i'm sick, i owe a lot to my daughter Anea now... she takes care of Arolf more than I do! I gave her duties and responsibilities... I talked to her, and asked her to love her brother more... to see if he needs anything in school, if he misbehaves, if his assignments were done, if his things were in order...

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Being sick makes you wake up... makes you realize that not everything in this world is permanent... You have to be ready for what can lie ahead... for you not being around all the time... especially if you have a special child... so, you also have the 'duty' to 'make everyone' else matter to your child. You have to make sure he or she will be taken cared of when you pass on.

I know it is very harsh to lay it on a 10-year-old child, but reality bites. Good thing she understands and thinks way beyond her years.

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I wish this disease will just go away... we're all praying that my kidneys will get better... or if i really need more treatments, we're praying that my body could combat any other complications that may go with them, and that we could find the money to finance everything.

Dialysis will be a lifetime event for a person like me, and that's twice a week, for thousands per session. That will be done til i get a transplant which will probably cost from half a mil, up.

Anything could happen. You could get sicker. You could get better. You could die.

I have faith. I am positive that everything will be well.

I have been in and out of the hospital many times now. I've been opened up 7 times. I have been pricked hundreds. I'm sure God will give me more strength and patience for thousands more. And one of God's reasons is Arolf. I'm sure of it.

Anyway, more updates as soon as we get the second opinion over and done with... as soon as we're sure what to do next... i'm just starting to get back on my feet now and doing normal things from time to time like going out with my mom to the mall to get some exercise. i haven't even talked to Arolf's guidance counsellor yet, but his teacher texts me from time to time. good thing i haven't seen a 'sent to guidance for counselling' stamp on his diary since the conference. Hahaha...

God bless everyone.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Arolf's Family Day

It was Arolf's Family Day in school (San Isidro Catholic School) today. We came in late coz it was raining hard here. My mom bought the puto at kutsinta that was the 'toka' of Arolf. She bought it from the market and placed it in a bilao.

Mom and Anea went to church first. It was just me, Arolf, and Tony who went to the gym. As soon as we got there, most of the kids shouted Arolf's name. Clearly, he's popular in school. A lot of kids came up to me and complained about him, like this one kid who said Arolf cut his bag or his notebook. Tsk! Tsk! Kawawang mga bata, naiisahan ng anak ko.

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Girls and boys alike went out to greet him, even kids from other sections! I didn't know how to feel. The only thing that lacked was the attention from the parents. I have never been friendly with other parents from school, even with Anea's classmates.

I still dunno how to react if they will ask me why Arolf behaves in a certain way. I dunno if I could say that he's special.

Anyway, he had a great time at first... running about, playing... dancing...

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but then it rained hard and he tried to cover his ears... i had to embrace him and tell him that everything will be fine and he should take off his fingers from his ears because people are beginning to stare. He did. He then just sat on my lap and wanted to go home already.

After eating, there was another game of Palayok and all the players were already chosen... He got into a tantrum since he wanted to play. I didn't let him coz I said he had to learn to accept realities.

We went home immediately.

All-in-all, it was ok. Tony even had so much fun.

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He got the experience we wanted. I saw his classmates' reaction towards him. I'm sure everything will be fine in time.

Alyana

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About a year or so ago, a letter came to me asking for permission to 'show' Arolf in a film documentary entitled Alyana. They said that they will show him in a positive light.

The first thought that came to mind was, will it have a negative effect on my son?

As an advocate for special children, I signed the paper.

I am not and will never be ashamed of Arolf's condition. I am so proud of everything he has accomplished, even little things like putting his trash in the waste bin properly without us ordering him to do so.

I thought, if this will shed light to other parents who are going through the same emotions I have everyday, then so be it.

I forgot all about the movie. As I said, it was years ago.

Then when I heard about it to be shown, I thought, it sounds familiar... and I wanted very much to see it... Though I got sick, and UP Diliman is quite far for me, I really wasn't going to.

Until the conference where T'Mila, his former SPED teacher, advised me to get my 2 complimentary tickets for Alyana and explained to me that it was the film that asked for my permission before.

OMG. hahaha...

So, I got the tickets and watched it with my mom.

They said Arolf will just have a bit part, like showing him cleaning something. So I said, OK... Eventhough it was a bit part, he's still on it, and it's a documentary film, very informational. My mom would better understand Arolf's condition when I bring her with me.

Of course, i invited Arolf's dad first, but he said he had a prior commitment. He should've been the one who needed more information about his son.

The movie was 2 and a half hours long and in fact they have to cut it into 2 parts so the people watching can have a break.

The first thing that got me excited was one of the posters... Arolf's name was on it! My mom saw it, and after the show she got it from the walls without even asking someone... hahahaha! That's my mom.

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Since I didn't know when he's gonna be on, I had to take out the digicam and wait like crazy pushing buttons and changing batteries... It's a shame that I didn't get the first part of the credits coz Arolf's name nga was on it pala.

When I saw the part where T'Mila was already in, I pressed record and got his first appearance. Pity it ain't clear.

He was washing a chair... and very much like he knows how to! My mom had to laugh coz we never thought he could do that... he's so lazy around the house!



We were considering not finishing the movie since it was already late and we have to commute to go home, but I insisted we finish it.. We didn't know that he will be shown 3 more times! It's like he really IS into the movie, and not a bit part.. I wasn't able to capture the rest on video, coz we really didn't know when he'll show and it's always in passing.

The next scene, he was shown walking to the board to tell time, only his back was shown.
And then when he was in the church, close up.
He was asked to write something on the board, side-view.

I was so psyched. My son is a movie star. Hahaha.

I really have to grab a hold of a copy of that movie... not just because Arolf was on it, but I wanted to give copies of it to people for their own understanding of the truths and myths of every child who has it.

The hardships and emotions that parents go through everyday. The clinical, medical, educational, and other aspects of the disability. The many adults who has the same condition living a normal life. How they think with much more sense that us 'normal' people.

And of course, it's permanence. That this condition will never go away.

That is one of the reasons I wanted now to go into a business. Because when I got sick, I realized, if I had died, what will happen to Arolf? Surely, he will be neglected by his father's family... I am sure of it. He might not get the proper education, maybe institutionalized.

I wanted to give him a start in life... I wanted him to get into business like a computer shop or food business where he can work on his own time, be his own boss. Just live and earn and not have to wait on someone to give it to him.

That is one of the reasons I teach Anea and Tony to love their brother everyday. Siblings play an important role.

I realized now how much more I have to teach him... how much more understanding I have to provide... how much more time I have to provide.

I realized everything with one excellent documentary film by MiranaMedina.


Thursday, July 20, 2006

Conference

...was a disaster.

it was like a clash of super powers.

arguments...

bashing of their titles.

"i'm a clinical psychologist!"

"ayun naman pala eh, seminar mo mga teachers niyo."

it all boiled down to one thing--strict discipline.

that's all that was helpful.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Updates

i just got back from the hospital due to inflammation of the kidneys...

a week in the hospital thought me a lot of things and gave me a sense of direction....

bottom line is, my kids really need me...

Dale's diary was full of teacher complaints and didn't do anything in school for the whole week... my daughter smelled... my baby was sick...

i didn't like it.

now, i'm working on changing that and preparing for a life-changing career move... i'm looking into putting up a small business that won't make me leave home always... that i can be with them when they need me...

pray for my success...

Saturday, June 24, 2006

PTA Meeting.

PTA meeting kahapon... mejo kinakabahan ako, kasi baka may mga parents na mag-raise ng incident about Dale... at meron nga! Dale cut daw the bag of one child... hay... wala ako nung nagsalita ang parent, i went to Anea's classroom... ang sabi sa kin ng guidance counsellor (Ms. Garcia), ang sabi niya lang daw is kakausapin niya si Dale at yung isa pang child kung ano nangyari... we didn't have to tell them that Dale was a special child.

Sabi sa kin ni Dale, kasi daw si Carmela, she hit him on the head... kaya he borrowed a classmate's scissor and quickly cut Carmela's bag.. buti na lang hindi hair or something... wah!!!

the day that Dale wrote on his notebooks, nag-shadow pala nun sa kanya si Ms. Garcia. kaya after that, wala na naman... di na naman nagsusulat... nagiging problema na rin yung inability niya to speak, write and read Tagalog... nung nagtest sa Filipino, sinagot niya in English... Pero dun daw sa Math, mabilis naman daw natapos...

hay... ewan ko ba... sana pagpasok ng July maging ok na si Dale...

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

sana tuloy-tuloy na...

Dale wrote on his notebooks today... he promised 3x, but he wrote 4x... *yey!*

i texted his teacher and thanked her for her patience.

i wish everyday is June 21. Image

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

hehe.

Just wanted to note that Dale wrote in one of his notebooks today... he promised he will write again tomorrow... *happy happy joy joy*

Monday, June 19, 2006

hay

i'm getting frustrated over Dale... he came home and still didn't write on the notebook... Grrr! Image

mag3 weeks na...

i'm losing it.

Friday, June 16, 2006

sad

hay... i just feel so sad today... Dale went home from school and when i saw his diary, it was stamped with a note from the guidance office. he was sent there coz he hit his classmate (Ryuji) with a pencil. Ryuji got a nasty cut on the side of his face near his ear.

Though Ryuji explained that it was his fault, coz he kept on nudging Dale's hand when he was drawing causing him to miss some lines, that is no excuse for Dale to hurt anyone... this was one of my worst fears when I knew that he'll be starting regular school. iba na kasi syempre pag regular school... mas mahigpit... pwede siyang makickout sa dami ng violations...

i know i'm being hard on him and myself... pero i can't help it. i worry lagi... gusto ko lang talaga siya mapabuti... i'm not wishing for anything grand... i'm not after medals... i just want him to be... NORMAL.

i talked to Dale and as punishment i made him write HITTING IS BAD in two pieces of paper. Of course, i had to tell some lies.... and that if he keep on doing bad things, he will be sent back to SPED. that i feel bad and if he keeps on doing bad things, i might get sick and be sent to the hospital... i know, i'm evil. i hate it.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Minsan.

Ang dami kong iniisip nitong mga nakaraang araw. Sa sobrang dami, laging nasakit ang ulo ko. Parang napupuno ng napakaraming tanong pero wala namang kasagutan.

Pumapasok na si Arolf sa eskwelahan. Nung unang araw, hinatid ko sila ni Anea. Hinintay ko sandali. Nagmasid ako sa silid nila, tinitingnan kung maayos na nagaaral si Arolf. Nakita ko siyang kiming nagtataas ng kamay. Nagsasalita ng walang nakikinig. Tumatayo ng hindi naman dapat.

Binalikan ko siya bago sila maguwian. Inabutan ko syang palabas ng silid may hawak na tissue. Alam ko, dudumi siya. Yun ang isa pang iniisip ko. Walang oras ang kanyang pagdumi. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung pano ko ito sasabihin sa kanyang mga guro. Hindi pa naman siya gaanong marunong. Nakita ko rin ang banyo, hindi naman gaanong malinis. Nakakatakot na baka makakuha siya ng sakit dahil sa paggamit ng maduming banyo.

Hindi siya nagsulat sa kanilang diary. May assignment pa naman. Kailangan niyang magsaulo ng kung anu-ano. Vision, Mission, Morning Prayer, etc. Naisip ko na, mahihirapan siya. Tama nga ako. Dalawang araw na naming sinasaulo ang mga ito, hindi pa rin niya masaulo lahat. Gusto kong umiyak. Gusto kong sumuko. Naisip ko tuloy, bakit ako ang binigyan ng Panginoon ng ganitong pagsubok? Bigla kong binawi, dahil naisip ko, hindi siya isang pagsubok--anak ko siya.

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Masakit isipin na pwedeng isang araw ay bigla na lamang siyang huminto sa pagaaral. Pwedeng umayaw siya dahil sa hindi na niya kaya ang mga pinagagawa sa kanya ng kanyang mga guro. Lagi kong naririnig sa kanya ngayon na "regular school is so difficult." Kinakailangan ko pa siyang takutin ng ibabalik namin siya sa SPED kung hindi siya magaaral ng mabuti... na isusumbong ko siya sa lolo niya.

Ayoko ng ginagawa ko. Ayoko ng tinatakot ko siya. Ayokong pilitin siya. Pero hindi ko matanggal sa sarili ko na mainis, na magalit pag hindi siya nasunod at gawin ang mga dapat niyang gawin. Na sumigaw pag hindi ko nakikita na bumubuti ang ugali niya. Na kakayanin niya na mamuhay ng normal.

Gusto kong umiyak.

Minsan, gusto ko ng sumuko.

Pero sa paanong paraan? San ko huhugutin ang damdaming 'pagsuko' kung sa araw-araw na nagdududa akong bubuti siya ay lalo ko naman siyang minamahal?

Minsan, gusto ko na lang siyang itigil sa pagaaral.

Pero sa paanong paraan? Pano ko maaatim na patigilin siya kung sa araw-araw na natatakot ako na kutyain siya ng mga tao dahil sa kanyang kalagayan ay lalo ko naman siyang nakikita na bumubuti?

Minsan, gusto ko ng iuntog ang ulo ko para makalimutan ko ang lahat.

Pero sa paanong paraan? Paano ko gugustuhing makalimutan ang lahat kung parte siya nito?

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Mahal ko ang anak ko.

Minsan, nagdududa ako sa kakayahan niya. Minsan, nanghihina ako sa mga bagay na hindi niya magawa ng mabuti. Minsan, nagagalit ako sa mga maling nangyayari. Minsan, iniisip kong hindi ako ang tamang ina para sa kanya.

Pero, minsan lang yun.

Kaya ko ito. Alam ko. Sigurado ako.

Minsan lang kinakailangan kong magsumbong sa Diyos. Na sabihin sa kanya na huwag naman masyadong mabigat, Lord. Na sana bigyan ako ng mga araw na hindi ko kinakailangang magduda, sumigaw, magalit, at manakot.

Kahit minsan lang.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

The Boy Who Could’ve Soared Higher

(sorry for not posting for too long... this post isn't about Dale, but i'm angry and i want to breathe. pardon the mistakes and all.)


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Every child and adolescent has a right to education… or so I thought.

Ever since I was a child, I dreamed of becoming a teacher. I envisioned myself honing a child, watching a child develop, being a second mother. This dream magnified when I watched The Boy Who Could Fly when I was a kid and saw a teacher who kept an autistic student from being sent into an asylum.

As I grew older, the realization that a teacher’s salary cannot possibly be enough for my family struck me, so, I took on a different course and eventually became a call center employee.

However, there was still this call to teach someday, and I decided to take up units in Education so I could take the Licensure Examinations for Teachers. I took it in 2004 and passed.

I haven’t taught in a classroom setting yet. The cost of living and feeding three children alone made me re-think my career choices, but I still have high respect for teachers. Until I read a text message from my sister-in-law:

“si vhon, ayaw ng tanggapin sa school nila, nakausap ko yung adviser.”

When I spoke with my sister-in-law, she explained that the soon-to-be adviser Ms. Cleofe Abad (Christ The Lord of Harvest, San Mateo), was the one who talked to her. She was also the former Biology teacher of my nephew who also took a summer class with her.

The reason was the child already committed too many school violations. I asked my sister how many of these violations exactly does she know of. She said she knew of one formal complaint and incident report, wherein my nephew hit (“binatukan”) another student. Other than that, there was no formal complaint.

I love my nephew. That is evident. But, I also do not condone hurting people or any bad behavior. But this side I have to explain. My nephew is different than other 15-year old adolescents. This was made clear to every adviser who has handled my nephew before the start of every class.

We have noticed this “behavior” when he started school. He is hard-headed, ill-tempered, always on the go, rarely focused, easily irritated. These result to fights, first and foremost with the family, and then with the school. He also had difficulty on focusing on his studies other than sports. His parents tried every discipline strategy. They tried talking to him, they tried being hard on him… nothing worked. There were moments when my nephew listens and does what he is told, but he chooses those moments, and nobody can foretell when.

I have a special child of my own, who I am proud to say have been accepted in a regular school after four years of SPED. I even took a few units of SPED from the University of the Philippines just so I could understand my child’s disorder. That was also the time when the idea that my nephew could’ve been a special child, too, came to mind. But since he was already in high school, we thought he was too old for a diagnosis.

We have accepted the fact that he might not complete tertiary education at all, and we are trying our best to have him complete at least secondary education, and then have him trained for a livelihood, like automotive or just having a carwash business that his parents could eventually let him manage when he is ready.

As a licensed teacher, I swore under oath to become the best teacher I could be with the student’s welfare on top of my priorities. Now, I ask myself, did this Biology teacher took the same oath? What were her priorities as an educator? I cannot understand how a teacher who has taken an oath before God and country can deny a student his right to education.

They also said that it was the teacher’s decision; they couldn’t do anything about it. This particular student have been in this school for two years now, and this particular teacher was the only one my nephew does not like because he feels like “pinagiinitan siya”.

One particular incident was that my nephew failed to wear his polo shirt to class (instead, an ordinary shirt), he said he was sorry and would not do it again. He also said there were other students who were not wearing their uniform. This teacher asked him to leave the room and go home. When asked why she did so, she said “to be an example to other students.”

I told myself, if this is the kind of teacher I could be, I will be a disgrace to the profession. Using a student to educate other students like this is far more than setting an example. Why didn’t she order all those who were not wearing their uniforms to go home? Why use my nephew? Or is it something else?

My nephew also told us that one time, he fell asleep in class. Instead of waking him up properly, this teacher threw a chalk at him. We understand the fact that my nephew is difficult to deal with. What we can’t understand is why this Biology teacher cannot deal with it, while other teachers can?

She said my nephew passed the summer class. My sister-in-law asked her what grade her son got. She said, “bibigyan ko siya ng 75.” I ask myself again, is giving out grades like plucking it from nowhere? Just so my nephew will not be enrolled to her class and can be enrolled to another school, she will give him a passing mark?

She also said the school will provide my nephew a good moral character (certificate). Now, I ask you, if my nephew is as difficult as she has made his parents believe, why would they even give him this certificate?

I don’t even understand why the teacher was the one his parents were talking to. Why didn’t the principal herself talk to them? Is this how they handle difficult situations or they just do not know what their teachers are up to?

I still believe that being a teacher is the noblest profession. I still dream that one day I could afford to give up a well-paying job and teach instead. I still wish that my nephew can finish even secondary education without being ridiculed, shouted at, thrown a chalk, or be sent home for not wearing his uniform.

I remember my nephew telling me when he was younger, referring to something that I was coveting on TV: “Di bale Tita, ‘pag tapos ko ng college at yumaman ako, ibibili kita ng sampu niyan.

I beamed at him that day, and wished really hard for it to come true. I prayed that someday, he could fly and soar higher than the rest. But now it seems like there are people who wants to clip his wings.

Ms. Abad, I tell you now and you must do well to remember it, you will not succeed in putting him down. If we cannot find more good teachers to formally teach him, then I would do it, even if it means not having a diploma telling him he finished secondary school. We will not let that piece of paper be the judge of what he can be.

As a line from my favorite movie says… if you wish hard enough, love long enough… anything is possible.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

wow.


My blog is worth $5,080.86.
How much is your blog worth?



hanep no?

Sunday, April 23, 2006

a day at the zoo

i wanted to go to the zoo for the longest time, but couldn't find the right time.
for holy week, my mom went to my brother's place for a vacation.
when she came home for Easter, I took the opportunity to
finally go to the zoo with my kids. my brother, his wife, and baby Bea went, too.

the first thing i noticed was the entrance fee. *grin*

since my dad worked for the zoo
when we were kids as a payroll clerk,
we could get in for free.
now, we had to pay. *LOL*

now, it's 40 bucks for adults and 20 for the kids.

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next thing i noticed was... oh my God, where is Tony?!

And that pretty much sums up what I did there. Look for him.
Good thing my mom was there to take care of Dale who wasn't interested in animals, i guess. 'Coz all he did there was eat ice cream, and then play (there's a playground).

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Unlike Tony, who couldn't last a minute from one cage to the next.
And with, i think, half of Manila and Pasay there that day,
I really couldn't afford to let him out of my sight.
i couldn't even get a decent picture of him.

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anyway, it was fun. the animals were abundant compared
to the last time we were there (ages ago). except they were still missing a giraffe.
the old one, well, got old and died. pity.
the giraffe is one of the main attractions there.

of course there was this cool chimpanzee who has a kitten for a pet.
too many people around the cage = no picture.

and the scary limping tiger. the falcons... i loved the falcons!

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the peacock.

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the gigantic rhinos.

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the turtles.

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this drugged bird (or maybe the flash shocked his eyes out).

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the bunnies that Bea loved.

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and this lonely monkey. is it me, or is one of her tits showing? *LOL*

and the stuffed animals. Of course, they were off limits to people.
But hey, my brother got carried away and thought that Dad still
works there, so we kinda 'slipped' into the office quietly. *wakokokoko*

funny thing with the stuffed animals is that they scared the bejeezers out of Tony.
I was carrying him that time, and when he saw them,
he tightened his grip on my neck, and he probably would've killed me,
til I managed to say that they were already dead. and stuffed. *cough*

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I couldn't blame him though, they scare me, too.

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we only stayed there for less than 2 hours, but we were exhausted after.
what with all the chasing we did with Tony, and with the playing with
Bea who kept on going for the slides.

but it was a fun experience and if you really don't have enough money to spend,
the zoo is the right place to bring your kids for a little exploration.

Note:
if you're gonna go, bring food and drinks. they cost double there.
alcohol, a change of clothes, tissue, hankies are necessities.

oOo

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i'm posting this triumphant smile coz Dale got in at
San Isidro Catholic School as Grade 1 full mainstream.
He did well during the interview, the principal informed me afterwards.
Her only negative comment was that he talks too fast.
He was asked to pray, to write certain words, count,
recite the alphabet, and some pertinent questions.

they only ask for submission of regular assessments,
and a dialogue with his former teacher.

he was sure that he got in that when i was looking at the list of school supplies
he needed he wanted me to buy them already.
he didn't leave until I said yes. and we did.

now, i really am not sure if i'm relieved that he passed.
coz now, i have these fears.
the workload, the schedule, the teacher, the classmates, the parents,
his bowel movement schedule, his penmanship, his... everything.

scenarios keep on flashing on me before i sleep, when i look at him, and in between meals.
what if he doesn't make it? what if he couldn't deal with it?

i'm also thinking too much 'coz i have to work.
with no yaya, and three kids going to school, how will we manage?

what if something happens and i'm called by the school for some reason and i'm at work?

during these times, i wish i wouldn't need to work and just be a
plain mother and be with my kids more.

but reality sucks.

big time.



Friday, March 31, 2006

happy days



the past two days have been busy with Anea and Dale's recognition days.
Thank God they were done on separate days or i'll be in a
dilemma to which recognition i'd have to go. *whew*

Anea received 2 medals, both for being the 3rd outstanding student in Grade 4.
One medal from the school, and the other from the Mayor.

<with her friend, Jude

3rd honor

The first week of March, Tony graduated from Nursery and was 10th in his class.

Tony

Today, it was Dale's turn. He was excited about the day.

with his grandma so happy...

Of course, who could be more happy and excited than me?

proud mommi

Dale officially graduated from the Pasay City SPED Center and was the Best in his class.

Dale with his Certificate and Gold Medal

It was a happy day, even if it was raining... all the students received some kind of award.
It was also obvious that a lot graduated from SPED this year, unlike the past.
It was like the rain is blessing each and everyone there.

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With his classmates and teacher:

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He was so happy with his medal that the first thing he said was:

Call Papa.

What? I asked.

You call Papa, Yahoo Messenger mo sya.

We can't, we're outside the house.

O, i-text mo na lang.

Why ba? What will I tell him?

Tell him, I won a gold medal, o!

I couldn't help hugging him for his logic.
It's obvious that he misses his grandfather.

After the event, we all went to Max's to eat.
With all of us very hungry, I forgot to take pictures. *hehe*
The restaurant was full and busy.
A lot of students were celebrating their graduation day.

I was able to take my kid's pictures anyway,
and I'm so happy that all of them have awards this school year.

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Indeed, you cannot have everything.
You may not be happy in some aspects of your life.
You may not have enough money, or a big house.
But God gives you what you deserve.
Something worth more than everything you've wished for.

Thank you for all the support and prayers.