When my son was diagnosed at the age of 3, there were no smartphones yet. So, screentime for us was using the TV and PC.
I allowed him to use them. The shows were sort of supervised, as my father was always in the sala, where the TV was, using his PC. He was only allowed to watch the Disney channel, Cartoon Network, and Nickelodeon. A time limit was also instilled. Maximum of 2 hours, after school, and he would need to nap after.
Soon after, he notices my father using the PC to edit pictures and stuff. He became interested in that so he started staying beside my father watching him.
That time, he was still learning to speak (he was nonverbal, but we have already broken that "may sariling mundo" barrier and he has learned to listen to me and understand what I'm saying), and just pushes my father signaling him to get off his chair so he can have a go on his PC. He was taught to open MS Paint. That's the only software he was allowed to use. Luckily, he likes to draw.
My father used this as an opportunity to teach him to tell time. "When the short hand is on 11 and the long hand is on 12, you can use my PC. When the short and long hands are both on 12, then you're done using it." He agreed to this.
Downside, my father should get off exactly at 11. Even if he has work to do. My son gets off at exactly 12. Sometimes, he would not and my father gets mad and tells him "you won't be able to use this again!" and it works. He gets off the chair and sometimes continue to watch my father.
Also, we took this opportunity to feed him food that he otherwise would not eat. He would be too busy to notice. 🤣 So while he was using the PC, I would spoonfeed him his lunch. He learned to eat alumahan, chicken, nilaga, nido soup, etc.
Fast forward to this day: my son is already 23 and graduating from college with a degree of B.S. Entertainment and Multimedia Computing major in Game Development. His interest in using the computer brought us to this.
What I'm trying to say is that I believe that screentime can be beneficial IF used properly.
Based on our experience, allowing screentime can be used to your advantage, but:
✔️should not start before the age of 3
✔️screentime should be supervised
✔️dos and don'ts should be explained beforehand, so he knows what to expect
✔️there should be a time limit
✔️time limit should be reasonable (don't end screentime if the show he likes is not yet done, this will make him throw a tantrum)
✔️time start and end should depend on time start and end of a tv show, only an hour or less for educational games.
✔️only EDUCATIONAL shows, videos, softwares, or games are allowed
✔️nothing that has violence and flashing lights (my son had a seizure disorder)
✔️it requires some sacrifice, but it is best that he has his own tablet that only has beneficial apps, like if he is nonverbal, those that teach letter sounds is good.
✔️a tablet is better because it has a larger screen compared to a smaller screen like a phone that may cause eye strain
✔️the tablet must be kept out of his reach or locked after use
✔️he fulfills what is expected before and after screentime (go to school or take a nap, etc.)
✔️do not use screentime as a way to keep the child quiet. For example, you have a visitor and he was being noisy or having a tantrum, you take out the tablet and give it to him so he stops. That is when all goes wrong. He will now think that he can manipulate you with this trick.
✔️A good visitor should know what to expect when they come into your house. It is your duty to explain it. If a tantrum ensues during a visit, the child may be brought to another room with you until he calms down. You do not leave your child alone. A good visitor will wait, or he will ask to come again another time.
Later on, you may use screentime as a reward or consequence:
✔️establish rules prior, and reason why you are doing this, especially with regards to consequences
✔️Add an additional 15 minutes to screentime the next day if the child finishes a task properly today ("Wow! Tomorrow, you can use the tablet for 15 more minutes because Teacher said you sat down and finished your seatwork! Excellent! You're being a good student!")
✔️No additional time otherwise or taking out screentime altogether ("Teacher said you hurt your classmate today. Mommy is sad. It's not good to hurt someone. I'm sorry but you can't use your tablet today. You may use it tomorrow after you apologize to your classmate.")
✔️If he throws a tantrum (that is always a risk with consequences), be firm or else it will not work and he will have manipulated you into cancelling the consequence, and then he will think that he can tantrum his way to get what he wants (remember that children are good manipulators)
✔️Make sure days of rewards or consequences are clearly established (that day only and will not carry over the next day)
Again, what I've posted here are based on personal experience and what I've studied (I have units in MA SPED and I finished MA in EARLY CHILDHOOD, but not an expert or a therapist). I just wanted to share what worked with us with regards to the issue of screentime.
All children are different. All cases are different. The times are different (we didn't have the kind of technology when he was 3). What worked with us, may not work with you.
However, some principles are the same. Parenting a child with autism needs firm discipline and patience. Our children are smart and very manipulative. Do not let him fool you. 😉
Best of luck!
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