Dale's take on his birthday party

Dale wanted a birthday party at the house, and not at Popeye's na. He was adamant about a Popeye's birthday party before. I dunno why he had a change of heart.

We were listing down what we needed for the party, and he even thought of the sticks to use on the hotdogs. and he precisely said that the hotdog should be long, and there should be marshmallows and pineapples on top.

He thought of the radio and the cds, the tables and chairs (with table cloth!), the cake (choco flavor with flowers and candies!), the pabitin, the party hats....

He thought of almost everything. And everytime i get home, he tells me... i wanna go to my party now. But i ask him, when is his birthday ba, and he says Dec. 17. and i go, is it Dec. 17th yet? and he goes frowning, no... and i go, so no party yet. hehe.

my baby--a girl????

his cousins dressed him up in his Ate's flower girl gown... he was so flirty and happy.

i was not.

no way.

(LOL)

The Curious Incident of The Dog In The Night-Time

i was surprised when Caloi, my former supervisor, approached me in the office lobby and gave me a book to borrow. It was "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time" by Mark Haddon.

He told me about it before, and I already told him that i'll borrow it. He gave it to me yesterday, with one question before he let go of it: "Kelan mo sosoli pag pinahiram ko sayo ngayon?"

I said, "Two days."

I returned it to him today, with one statement before I did: "3 hours and 27 minutes."

Yes, I read it within 3 hours and 27 minutes straight, with one pee break. It will be an understatement if i say that it was moving.

I'd say that I hated it.

I hated it because I can relate to it.
I hated it because it was an ingenious book, and the writer was brilliant.
I hated it because since it was an ingenious book and the writer was brilliant, I saw Arolf in it.
I hated it because I saw how Arolf's mind works.
I hated it since because of it I saw how Arolf's mind works, I realized that it wasn't how it should work.
I hated it because it made me worry about what will happen to Arolf when he gets older.
I hated it because it made me realize that if Ronald and I part ways, something like this can happen to Arolf.
I hated it because it was supposed to be some sort of a funny book to most people, and I found myself in tears.

There were a lot of reasons why I hated it... but mostly, I hated it because it made me weaker.

People look up to me as someone who has gone through a lot. Whether it may be with my personal life, or with Arolf's condition. I always see to it that people do not see me as someone who cannot take what life gives me. I hate it when I cry in front of someone else. I hate it when I admit that I need help.

But in reality, I do need help. In all aspects of my life.

Anyway, I'd still suggest that you buy and read it, 'coz i know that not everything is about me.

p.s.
my fingers are cold.

a day at Time Zone

ten days before Anea's birthday,
we went to Time Zone for some fun.

i think this is the first time Dale
ever tried playing and actually having so much fun...

he went around and played almost everything,
and emptied my not-too-full-to-begin-with wallet.

it was worth every penny.

The Tree

Someone sent this to me:

When my son is in his bed
And he is fast asleep
I quietly go upstairs
And into his room I creep.

I look at my beautiful child
And as I touch his golden hair
My tears they flow so gently
Knowing autism and the world out there.

I also question me at times
As his mother, am I good?
Is there something I've forgotten?
Am I doing all I could?

I will never take things for granted
Knowing life is never what it seems
When I ask myself if he's happiest
Carried away by the sweetest dreams.

Then I take a glance out of the window
And look at our graceful tree
I watch as it sways in the wind
Mesmerised - that could be me.

I think of all the different leaves
The colours as they fall
It has meaning, it has beauty
My tree - so proud and tall.

In a storm the twigs may break
(As in life will be frustration)
And yet the tree still stands
Only through its strong foundation.

I've noticed my tears have stopped
My whole being is much calmer
Knowing I've been given a gift
Understanding more about nature.

So when at times I feel unsure
Or have the need to question me
I'll remember my roots; my strength
I'll remember my special tree.

(c) Susan Harvey 2004

home alone?

this is what i got after we watched Home Alone on VCD.

cute, ain't he?

mommy will come back for you

Dale (my son who has autism) is now going to a public school nearby. He started Monday (7am-10am). He cried when the door was closed behind me. The teacher asked me to leave him there.

I stayed for a few minutes outside listening to my son cry. It was impossible for me not to cry, too. That was the first time I've ever left him to total strangers.

Then another teacher went by and asked me to go home. "Masasanay din yan, Mrs.", she said.

Yesterday, i also stayed outside, waiting for him to stop crying. He did after 5 minutes. Then i went home.

Today, he wouldn't let me put his uniform on, but i told him: YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL. TEACHER IS WAITING FOR YOU. YOU'LL PLAY THE ABC (plastic abc's he was playing with there). THEN YOU'LL EAT YOUR BAON, THEN I'LL COME BACK FOR YOU.

He suddenly looked at me at that last statement.
So, i repeated, MOMMY WILL COME BACK FOR YOU.
So, when we got to school, he got his snackbox from me and went inside the classroom, placed it on top of the table and went straight to the plastic abc's.

His teacher's jaw dropped.

I stayed outside for a while for I couldn't help crying. This time, I wasn't sad or worried. This time, I was happy.

God gave me another good sign today that my son will be okay.

List of Developmental Pediatricians Provincial

Credit:  http://www.autismpinoy.com

To add you to our listing, please send us an email with your name, address and contact details.  Thanks!



Bacolod City


DR. MA. CRISTINA ALEJANO
Riverside Medical Center - Room 409
Medical Arts Bldg.
73 P. Hernaez St., Bacolod City
034 - 433 8943


Baguio City

DR. FRANCIS DIMALANTA
St. Louis University Hospital of the Sacred Heart


Batangas

DR. AGNES G. FALCOTELO
EEG Room, Mediatrix Medical Center
Lipa City, Batangas
043 - 756 6890 / 756 6889


Cagayan de Oro

DR. ANNAH REBECCA DOROJA
Cagayan de Oro General Hospital Foundation
(GUSA), Cagayn de Oro City
08822-723215 loc. 205


Cavite

DR. ROCHELE PACIFICO
De La Salle University- Medical Center
Room 1123 Building A, Dasmariñas, Cavite
046-416 0226 loc. 192


Cebu City

DR. JACQUELINE J. ESPINA
Chong Hua Medical Arts Center, Room 408
135 Juan Osmeña Extension, Cebu City
032 - 254 4293


Davao City

DR. FERRIZA MARIA I. ISAGUIRRE
Borkenshire Memorial Hospital
Child Development Clinic, Madapo Hills,
Davao City
08822-775706 loc. 242

Iloilo City

DR. JOAN HAZEL RAMOS
ILOILO CITY
(033) 508 7337

Laguna

DR. JOEL LAZARO
Dr. S.V. Rizal St., Calamba
4027 Laguna
c/o Child Garden
cell: 0919 - 351 2801
049 - 545 1018 / 545 5205
e-mail: joelmd@laguna.com

Calamba Doctors Hospital
3rd Floor Medical Arts Bldg.
049-545 2529 / 545 2527

Perpetual Help Medical Center
Biñan, Laguna
049-511 8636 loc. 215

De La Salle University- Medical Center
Room 115, Dasmariñas, Cavite
046-416 0226 local 192

DR. ANTONIO REMOLLINO
Calamba Medical Center


Pampanga / Pangasinan

DR. MARIE ARRANZ-LIM
Angeles University Foundation
Angeles City, Pampanga

Binalonan Clinic
Dagupan Doctors Villaflor Hospital - Rm 2006
075-562 2090
075- 513 6870

Last update:  May 23, 2013

List of Developmental Pediatricians Metro Manila

Credit:  http://www.autismpinoy.com

To add you to our listing, please send us an email 

with your name, address and contact details.  Thanks!

DR. MIMI AVENDANO
Philippine Children's Medical Center
Neurodevelopmental Section,
Child Neuroscience Division
924 6601

DR. BERNADETTE BENITEZ
Medipoint Clinic
LBH Building,
1431 Mabini Street, Manila
523 5476 to 78

Makati Medical Center -Room 331
892 1738

Medical Plaza Makati - LP Room 4
Dela Rosa corner Amorsolo St. Makati City
892 1738

Asian Hospital, Filinvest-Alabang
752 3167

DR. ANNA TREICHLER-BORGAILY
Medical Towers Makati - Suite 407
103 Herrera St., Legaspi Village, Makati City
818 8582

DR. CHRISTINE CONDUCTO

Philippine Children's Medical Center
924 6601 Lloc. 307/325

DR. RIA DE GUZMAN
UP-PGH, Department of Pediatrics
521 8450 loc. 2120 / 2101

DR. FRANCIS DIMALANTA
St. Luke's Medical Center
723 1088

DR. JOSELYN EUSEBIO
Eusebio Clinic
126 15th Ave., Cubao, Q.C.
911 8257

Quezon City General Hospital
455 2162

St. Luke's Medical Center - Rm 203
723 0101 local 6203

UERM Pediatric Clinic
Aurora Blvd., Sta Mesa, Manila
716 1783

National Children's Hospital
E. Rodriguez Ave., Q.C.724 0656
Mobile 0917 - 7938594

DR. AGNES G. FALCOTELO
Capitol Medical Center - Rm 208
Sct. Magbanua St., Quezon City
3723825 -44 local 3235
Mobile: 0918-9109004

Fatima Medical Center - Rm 202
New Medicine Building
293 0227 / 293 1636

Quezon City General Hospital
Child Development Unit, Seminary Road, Q.C.
455 2162

MBS Specialty Clinic
#7 Asuncion Street, Morning Breeze
Caloocan City (beside MCU)
366 1188 / 362 4418
Fax No. 455 7791

DR. MA. THERESA ARRANZ-LIM
Unit 1414 MATI Bldg
Medical City
Origas Avenue, Pasig City
Tel. No. 635-6789 loc 5187

Rm 273
Cardinal Santos Medical Center
Wilson Street, Greenhills west
San Juan, Metro Manila
Tel. No. 7270001 loc 2273
Cell No: 09178994693

DR. STELLA GUERRERO-MANALO
Rm 217 Medico Bldg.
Lourdes St., Ortigas Center, Mandaluyong
633 6686
beeper: 1441 - 668832

DR. CARMENCITA PADILLA
St. Luke's Medical Center - Rm 507
Don Santiago Bldg., Taft Ave.
723 0101 local
523 1426

DR. RHANDY PE BENITO
Children's Medical Center
(Fe del Mundo Medical Center)
Banawe, Quezon City
712 0845

DR. MARNIE PRUDENCIO
Phil. Children's Medical Center
924 6601 - 25 local 307 / 325

DR. ALEXIS L. REYES
Makati Medical Center- Rm. 217
815 9911 local 7217 Cathy

Phil. Children's Medical Center
Quezon Ave., Q.C.
924 6601 - 25 local 273
Fax 819 5423

PGH – MCAU
Taft Ave., Manila
521 8450 local 402

DR. ANTONIO REMOLLINO
Perpetual Help, Las Piñas
874 8515

St. Lukes Medical Center,
Quezon City
723 0101

Medical Plaza, Ortigas
636 7576

DR. VILMA BAGAY-SALCEDO
St. Luke's Medical Center-Rm 524
E. Rodriguez Ave., Q.C.
723 0101 local 6524
7231083

Don Santiago Bldg. - Rm. 315
Taft Ave., Manila
523 1426
Mobile 0919-2451570
Residence 435 4315 / 922 3027

DR. NOEMI SALAZAR
UST Hospital - Room 5006, MAB
749 9791

FEU Hospital - Room 513 Marian
Arts Building, Fairviwe, Quezon City
935 4336

DR. CORNELIO BANAAG
Psychiatrist
Room 516 Medico Bldg.
Medical City, San Miguel Ave.
Pasig City
631 6961 loc. 516

Dr. PORTIA V. LUSPO
Child & Adult Psychiatrist

Phil. Children's Medical Center-Rm 16
9246601-25 local 305/325/307

UERM - Rm. 119 Medicine Bldg.

7716 1848/7150861-69loc. 280

Polymedic Hospital - Rm. 215
EDSA, Mandaluyong City
531 7959 / 5314911/21 loc. 23

DR. MARILYN ORTIZ
Neurologist
Phil. Children's Medical Center - Rm 15
Quezon Avenue, Quezon City
Child Neuroscience Office PCMC
924 6601 local 304 / 271 Josie
924 6601 loc. 325/307 Espie/ Olive or Jasmin
e-mail: mhortiz@uplink.com.ph

DR. MA. LOURDES LEDESMA
Neuropsychologist
Suite 805 Kalaw-Ledesma Condo.
117 Gamboa St., Legaspi Village
Makati City
816 4798
892 7205

DR. LOURDES A. CARANDANG
Clinical Psychologist
Cardinal Santos Memorial Hospital
Room 231 Wilson St., Greenhills
727 0001 local 831 Neriss

DR. EMMA LIWAG
Clinical Psychologist
Ateneo Wellness Center
Ateneo de Manila University
Katipunan Ave., Loyola Hts., Q.C.

426 5659

DR. EDILBERTO I. DIZON, Ph.D.
SpEd Diagnostician/Assessment
St. Luke's Medical Center
E. Rodriguez Sr., Quezon City
723 loca 0101 l 5707
725 8195

U.P. College of Education
10 Milan St., Greenpark Village
Manggahan, Pasig City
920 5301 local 6955
646 3567
cell: 0919-3193362

PHIL. MENTAL HEALTH ASSOCIATION
East Avenue, Quezon City
921 4958 / 924 9297

not until Dale kisses me first

Early this year, we went to my son, Dale's, pediatrician for treatment of his cough and colds. We went to a new one, because his former pediatrician went abroad. This new doctor told us, in all honesty, that we have to take Dale to a developmental psychologist. She suspects something is wrong with him.

I thought, WHO IS THIS DOCTOR? WHY IN THE WORLD WILL THERE BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY SON? But of course, I just thought that. Being brought up by my parents as a respectful person, I just listened to her.

When I got to the office, I don't know why, I just turned on the PC, opened the browser, and searched for a topic—AUTISM. I typed in the search field. I picked a site, and went on reading. I read almost every topic on that website, and feeling like a zombie, reached for the office's wireless and called my husband. Upon hearing his voice, I cracked. I told him, my son has autism.

“How did you know? Calm down. Where did you read it from? No, it can't possibly. Stop crying. We're not sure of that.” Those were his words. I just passed him the information from what I have read, the symptoms and possible causes. Saying it in barely recognizable phrases because I could not control myself. I have never cried as hysterically as this before. I thought everything I have achieved in life, even if it was only bearing three wonderful children have been trashed.

I kept on asking myself, WHY MY SON? HAVE I DONE SOMETHING GRAVELY WRONG? HAVE I NOT PRAYED EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE? Everyday since then, I have silently hoped that I was wrong. I told my cousin, and she told her mom, who in turn gave me the contact number of this SPED teacher. I consulted her and she recommended Dra. Alexis Reyes of Makati Medical Center.

Since then, a lot of people told us that they didn't think that Dale has autism. They think that maybe he's just not disciplined. They kept assuring me that there were normal kids who are just delayed in development like speech. But it wasn't just his inability to talk. It's his eye contact, it's his strange behavior, his failure to recognize danger, and his inability to listen and look at me when I call his name. It was everything.

Whatever consolations they point out, I did not feel any better, because deep inside me, I have accepted the fact that he really has autism. The signs were all there. I don't know if that would make me a bad mother, but it helped me now.

I then set up an appointment with Dra. Reyes which was June, but was then rescheduled to March of next year. Then just two days ago, her secretary called and said there was a cancellation and that the doctor will see us yesterday.

It was exactly 2:00 P.M. when the doctor went out of the office and called us. She asked for Dale's history, and assessed him for 45 minutes, played with him and made him sit still. We were having difficulties then because Dale saw that the doctor has Pringles, and he kept on reaching for it. He started to cry then and would not stop crying. But when the doctor asked him to do something like play with a puzzle, he completes the puzzle while crying. He stacked thirteen blocks on top of another, making sure the blocks were all aligned before he placed another one (Later on the doctor told us that it was a good sign, most kids she assessed could only stack 4 blocks).

After the assessment the doctor asked me to sit down with my husband and she explained things to us. I found myself asking her:

"So, what are you saying? Is it positive that my son is autistic?"

And her reply was the most hurtful 3-word sentence I have ever heard:

"Yes, he is."

I did not cry. I did not shed a single tear. I just listened to what she was saying.

She gave us information on how to deal with this and referred us to the CENTER FOR AUTISM AND RELATED DISORDERS. She just gave us a slip of paper as a referral when we go to CARD, stating that my son has Autism Spectrum Disorder.

When it was over, my husband who rarely carries him, scooped him up, hugged him and carried him until we got to the lobby. He kissed him and hugged him all that time. He got the car from the parking lot while we waited for him in the lobby. It was raining a bit, but my husband was taking quite a long time getting the car, I noticed. When he finally came by, we got in the car, I saw that my husband was crying. He cried while he was driving. I did not.

When I told my mother that night, I saw her tears building up in her eyes. Mine did not.

You could ask me why I did not cry, and my answer will always be this:

I really believe that everything that happens in our lives has this certain purpose or reason. The problem is, what is it? And how do we take it to our advantage?

I only know then and now that I LOVE MY SON. I love him so deeply, that I would give him everything, and sacrifice everything just to give him a normal life even if it was just at a certain point.

And I believe that if my husband cries, my mom cries, the whole family, and everyone else cries, then what would these tears do for my son? Will he get better? Will these tears be some sort of a miracle for my son? I did not think so. What I thought was, I have to be strong for my son. I have to keep strong faith that HE WILL get better. Because I'm done with crying. And it did not do me nor my son any good.

So, this morning, I placed Dale on his younger brother's crib. He hates that. He kept on asking me in hand gestures to bring him down. I did not. Not until he kisses me first, I told him. Until his dad came down and wanted to get him out because he pities him, I told him NO.

NOT UNTIL DALE KISSES ME FIRST, I told them.

Dale would have to exhaust himself from crying but I WILL NOT bring him down. Sadist? No. It was because I love him. He has to try to listen to me and understand. After a painful (for me and his Dad) 2 minutes, he finally kissed me. FIVE TIMES.

Now, then, I could have cried. Because, for the first time in months, I am now SURE that my son will be okay.