Arolf's Family Day

It was Arolf's Family Day in school (San Isidro Catholic School) today. We came in late coz it was raining hard here. My mom bought the puto at kutsinta that was the 'toka' of Arolf. She bought it from the market and placed it in a bilao.

Mom and Anea went to church first. It was just me, Arolf, and Tony who went to the gym. As soon as we got there, most of the kids shouted Arolf's name. Clearly, he's popular in school. A lot of kids came up to me and complained about him, like this one kid who said Arolf cut his bag or his notebook. Tsk! Tsk! Kawawang mga bata, naiisahan ng anak ko.



Girls and boys alike went out to greet him, even kids from other sections! I didn't know how to feel. The only thing that lacked was the attention from the parents. I have never been friendly with other parents from school, even with Anea's classmates.

I still dunno how to react if they will ask me why Arolf behaves in a certain way. I dunno if I could say that he's special.

Anyway, he had a great time at first... running about, playing... dancing...



but then it rained hard and he tried to cover his ears... i had to embrace him and tell him that everything will be fine and he should take off his fingers from his ears because people are beginning to stare. He did. He then just sat on my lap and wanted to go home already.

After eating, there was another game of Palayok and all the players were already chosen... He got into a tantrum since he wanted to play. I didn't let him coz I said he had to learn to accept realities.

We went home immediately.

All-in-all, it was ok. Tony even had so much fun.



He got the experience we wanted. I saw his classmates' reaction towards him. I'm sure everything will be fine in time.

Alyana

About a year or so ago, a letter came to me asking for permission to 'show' Arolf in a film documentary entitled Alyana. They said that they will show him in a positive light.

The first thought that came to mind was, will it have a negative effect on my son?

As an advocate for special children, I signed the paper.

I am not and will never be ashamed of Arolf's condition. I am so proud of everything he has accomplished, even little things like putting his trash in the waste bin properly without us ordering him to do so.

I thought, if this will shed light to other parents who are going through the same emotions I have everyday, then so be it.

I forgot all about the movie. As I said, it was years ago.

Then when I heard about it to be shown, I thought, it sounds familiar... and I wanted very much to see it... Though I got sick, and UP Diliman is quite far for me, I really wasn't going to.

Until the conference where T'Mila, his former SPED teacher, advised me to get my 2 complimentary tickets for Alyana and explained to me that it was the film that asked for my permission before.

OMG. hahaha...

So, I got the tickets and watched it with my mom.

They said Arolf will just have a bit part, like showing him cleaning something. So I said, OK... Eventhough it was a bit part, he's still on it, and it's a documentary film, very informational. My mom would better understand Arolf's condition when I bring her with me.

Of course, i invited Arolf's dad first, but he said he had a prior commitment. He should've been the one who needed more information about his son.

The movie was 2 and a half hours long and in fact they have to cut it into 2 parts so the people watching can have a break.

The first thing that got me excited was one of the posters... Arolf's name was on it! My mom saw it, and after the show she got it from the walls without even asking someone... hahahaha! That's my mom.



Since I didn't know when he's gonna be on, I had to take out the digicam and wait like crazy pushing buttons and changing batteries... It's a shame that I didn't get the first part of the credits coz Arolf's name nga was on it pala.

When I saw the part where T'Mila was already in, I pressed record and got his first appearance. Pity it ain't clear.

He was washing a chair... and very much like he knows how to! My mom had to laugh coz we never thought he could do that... he's so lazy around the house!



We were considering not finishing the movie since it was already late and we have to commute to go home, but I insisted we finish it.. We didn't know that he will be shown 3 more times! It's like he really IS into the movie, and not a bit part.. I wasn't able to capture the rest on video, coz we really didn't know when he'll show and it's always in passing.

The next scene, he was shown walking to the board to tell time, only his back was shown.
And then when he was in the church, close up.
He was asked to write something on the board, side-view.

I was so psyched. My son is a movie star. Hahaha.

I really have to grab a hold of a copy of that movie... not just because Arolf was on it, but I wanted to give copies of it to people for their own understanding of the truths and myths of every child who has it.

The hardships and emotions that parents go through everyday. The clinical, medical, educational, and other aspects of the disability. The many adults who has the same condition living a normal life. How they think with much more sense that us 'normal' people.

And of course, it's permanence. That this condition will never go away.

That is one of the reasons I wanted now to go into a business. Because when I got sick, I realized, if I had died, what will happen to Arolf? Surely, he will be neglected by his father's family... I am sure of it. He might not get the proper education, maybe institutionalized.

I wanted to give him a start in life... I wanted him to get into business like a computer shop or food business where he can work on his own time, be his own boss. Just live and earn and not have to wait on someone to give it to him.

That is one of the reasons I teach Anea and Tony to love their brother everyday. Siblings play an important role.

I realized now how much more I have to teach him... how much more understanding I have to provide... how much more time I have to provide.

I realized everything with one excellent documentary film by MiranaMedina.

Conference

...was a disaster.

it was like a clash of super powers.

arguments...

bashing of their titles.

"i'm a clinical psychologist!"

"ayun naman pala eh, seminar mo mga teachers niyo."

it all boiled down to one thing--strict discipline.

that's all that was helpful.

Updates

i just got back from the hospital due to inflammation of the kidneys...

a week in the hospital thought me a lot of things and gave me a sense of direction....

bottom line is, my kids really need me...

Dale's diary was full of teacher complaints and didn't do anything in school for the whole week... my daughter smelled... my baby was sick...

i didn't like it.

now, i'm working on changing that and preparing for a life-changing career move... i'm looking into putting up a small business that won't make me leave home always... that i can be with them when they need me...

pray for my success...