pick you up.

I guess most of the mothers here have a much younger child. My Dale is 18 (adult now), and yes we also went through what you guys are experiencing right now. As each child is different, we cannot compare the progress of every one. I'm contented with the small developments. That's what kept me going. We didn't have long conversations like this one. He started non-verbal. When he started talking, Filipino was a problem, he cannot speak Tagalog until now. We went with it. There's still fleeting eye contact. But, we got him to stop walking on tiptoes. There's still stimming, but we got him to stop self-harming or harming others. We know we couldn't solve every problem. We learned to accept, let go, and let God.

He hates most movies. He hates bad things happening, that's why. We watched a Tagalog movie once, since it's Christmas and we were all going together. Needless to say, he didn't like it. He screamed in the theater. He even said he would like to take a baseball bat and hit the StarCinema people who made the movie. So when they watch a movie in school, this conversation ensues. You can see his frustration, and then there's a sudden realization that he needs to accept things now. I feel sad, proud, and worried all at the same time.

You are and will all go through different trying times. I am sharing this to let you know that not everything will go well, but some things will. It will take time, patience, money... But you'll see progress little by little. Let's be happy with the little things. It adds up to be something big.

God bless us all.

Kuya's First Sem Grades (Grade 11 Senior High School)

As you can see, we had a slight problem during midterms, but Kuya was able to resolve some issues and got back his groove big time.

Thanks to all his professors and classmates who are all patient with him.

Kuya Dale Got Into iAcademy!

Since Dale is graduating Junior High School (JHS), parents were invited by their current school for an orientation for Senior High School (SHS).  Their batch will be the pioneer batch.  The presentation was good, and maybe for students who will take up a non-specialized course in college, their current school's offering is fine.  However, Kuya Dale wants to take up Game Development in college.  We thought it will be good for him to enter SHS that will be beneficial to his future plans.

We looked into Game Development and found out that two schools near us offer it.  La Salle and iAcademy.  Normally, parents would choose La Salle, but since Dale is no ordinary student, I opted to look in iAcademy.  I chose it because it is a smaller school with specialized facilities that is best suited for Dale's college preparation.

We attended the Open House on Sept. 26 and was given a registration form (for taking the entrance exams).  Dale didn't want to fill it out until we finish the presentation and the tour.  He signed it afterwards and took the exam.  After less than an hour, he came back and told me it was an easy enough exam.

We were told to wait for the results and interview.  It took more than an hour of waiting. So we had McDonald's delivered and ate lunch first.  When it was our turn for the interview, we were told that he passed the test and got 91%.  I also showed the interviewer his NCAE results and she was all too impressed.  After the interview, Dale was given his acceptance letter.

We need to pay a PhP10,000 reservation fee on Thursday to make sure he gets a slot since they will only be taking in 250 students for SHS.

I was very impressed with how Dale handled a change in environment/schools, how he waited before he signed the form, with how he composed himself during the presentation, and how he questioned the guide during the tour.  He really is coming of age and becoming a better person.  Kudos to you, Kuya!

Kuya Dale's NCAE Results

If you are a follower of this blog, you may remember that I told everyone that I will not post about Dale anymore because I want to give him his privacy.  However, I cannot contain my happiness when I found out his NCAE results!  I am so proud of him.  See results below:

 

  

Congratulations, Kuya Dale! Keep up the very good work! 

Update on Dale

Dale (Arolf Delano) is now on his 2nd year in high school, now called Grade 8, junior high.

There were minimal problems like roaming around the classroom, being inattentive, eating candy while class is ongoing, not doing his homework. 

We had a problem with CLE and was told that he might fail the subject. The teacher said that Dale did not pass his journal (reflection on Sunday Gospels) and book assignments. 

It has been my "policy" to not help my kids with homework/project if I think that they can do it on their own, or if they do not ask for help. 

What I do every night was to ask "Have u done your homework?" And when they say yes, I trust that they really mean that. 

So, I was a little disappointed and mad at Dale for not telling the truth. I asked the teacher for another chance and we submitted everything the next day. 

I am happy that the teacher gave consideration and gave him an 84. 

He is also Top 9! Last year he was in Top 6. Before he entered high school I was worried about him not being able to finish, but, look at him now! High school ain't bad after all.

Best in MAPEH, too!

His adviser then gave me a letter he made for me during his recollection:

How thoughtful and cute is this? 

So, anyway, we're now on our 2nd quarter. I'm always praying for the best! I know that my son can, so he did!

Don't lose hope! Your children can also do good with God's grace and mercy. 

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IG: @possibilities17

Twitter: @possibilities17

When Special Children Are Not So Special

http://autismacceptanceday.blogspot.com

Any children with a disability or disorder needs special needs, ergo, they are called special children.  They were not called as such because they have ice cream on top, or they are supposed to be given preferential treatment.  A little consideration, yes, but they also just want to be normal just like you and me.

My son, Dale, once asked me "Mom, can you help me?  It's my brain.  I think it's wired differently.  I do not think like you or everyone else.  I have prayed every night, just like you said.  I asked God to please, please, please make my brother and my classmates like me, but it's not working.  They still keep saying that they hate me."  As a mother, my heart broke at what he said.  I cannot fathom why someone can say that they hate a person and mean it.  Hate is such a strong word, and so is love; and both should be said and given when it is true.

What can I say to my child that could make him feel better?  Is it really true that everything will be okay in the end? That when I told him to just ignore the bullies, will they really stop?

This is our society.  When we see a person who seems to be looking at nothing or seems to be laughing on his own, we conclude that the person is mentally ill.  When the person do not say "Hi!" back at you or just hum when he is bored, we say he is autistic, "May sariling mundo." 

Then we go say "Aw..." at the new McDonald'scommercial, but never really understood what those brothers have gone through.  Children with Down Syndrome are easily recognized because of their physical appearance, but what about the other children with different disabilities?  They look just like you and me.  If McDonald's used a "KUYA"  with ADHD, will you still recognize his disability?  Will you still say "Aw...?" 

Personally, if you see a differently-abled child, you do not need to know what he's got.  You need not bother with labeling, especially if you are not there to help him.  Labeling is important only to those who are handling his case, like a therapist or a doctor.  It is important for them so they can treat him properly.  Labeling should never be used as a tool to ridicule a person or to limit his capabilities.  

That is the reason behind wanting to change the label to CWA (Children with Autism) from "autistic," because it becomes who they are.  Thus, instead of saying "I have autism," you define yourself by saying "I am autistic."  Autism is not the person, autism is just a disorder he has. 

And I dream of a world where we all know the difference.

PTA Meeting 2013

This year's Parents' Orientation Day at my sons' school was uneventful except for one moment when Dale's adviser told me that his teacher in TLE made him cry.  She said she found Dale looking like he was about to cry and when she asked why he said that he cannot cry because I will get mad at him (referring to the first tantrum).  When she said that it was okay, tears started falling.  He said that his TLE teacher told him she hates him!  When the adviser asked the TLE teacher, she said that she was really tired that day and Dale started making noise in the classroom.  The adviser then asked me to understand the TLE teacher because she was old and her class with Dale was the last class and she was tired.

Dale wants everyone to like him.  He doesn't want enemies.  His archenemy, Tony (his brother who I cannot control), likes to tell Dale "I hate you!" whenever he's angry at him.  That's why Dale prays for Tony every night.  His classmates also bullies him with that sentence because they know that Dale hates being told that.

So, I was dumbstruck when she told me that.  I asked her "Between the two of us, do you think that what the teacher said was right?"  She asked me for my patience.  I told her the school accepted my son knowing what his condition was.  We have been patient with the bullying from his classmates.  I have told Dale to be patient with them, and he is coping with it.  But, this is a teacher we are talking about!  Hate is a very strong word for us, let alone for Dale. If she doesn't have the patience, then she shouldn't be a teacher.  Maybe she should retire!

Nonetheless, I told Dale to tread lightly with this particular teacher.  He should be extra careful on what he does.  He cannot just stand up or make noise.  Some of his teachers tolerate his "behavior" because they know that Dale still listens to the lesson even without looking at them.  A handful of teachers already testified to this. There was this one teacher who told me honestly that he wanted Dale to feel ashamed that he wasn't listening (because he was drawing on his notebook), so he suddenly asked Dale to recite.  When Dale was able to answer all questions correctly, he said he was the one who felt ashamed of himself.

I plan on talking to his guidance councilor about this because we want this on record that this happened.  I fear that this might result to the teacher making it harder for Dale, but we also do not want to let her think that she can get away with harsh words.  Teachers are second parents.  Parents shouldn't hate their children.

Why I Took a Break

The Break

I took a break from blogging for quite some time.  I didn't feel the need to explain, but I read a blog post that did explain why she was QUITTING to blog about her son, and while I am not up for quitting entirely, i wanted to share my sentiments on why I took a break.

Dale is now 14 years old, a teenager.  Just like any other, he likes to play video games and watch Youtube videos.  I started this blog as a sort of therapy for me.  I thought that recording my thoughts on Dale's journey will lessen the anxieties and pain. It did, at some point.  However, I did not think of the repercussions it will bring on Dale.  Instead of thinking about it though, I learned to put everything in God's hands.  We managed, without getting everything out there in the open for every one to read, to criticize, to laugh at, to judge.

I learned to give Dale the privacy he deserved.  He threw a tantrum without anyone knowing.  He was circumcised without his pictures plastered on this page.  We triumphed at what his recent assessment said.  We were called to the Guidance Office without everyone judging why.  We gave ourselves the chance to heal.  And we did.

The Return

I am blogging again.  Why I am doing this is for a number of reasons.  One is to be able to do something.  I am, for the rest of my life, ongoing dialysis.  I basically am an invalid for three days in a week, when I sit or lounge on a chair for more then four hours to get my blood clean.  I am jobless and all I do for the rest of the week is either sleep or play games on my phone.  I felt it was a horrid way of life.  I wanted to change that and make something out of the rest of the days that I am "well."

Two, I am now blogging, not for me, but for others.  I believe that if there are parents out there who are looking for other parents like me, then I should be available.  I think I have the experience, the knowledge, and the strength to provide comfort and support for parents of children with special needs.  I do not know everything, but at least I can be of moral support to them. I also would like to help other schools and centers to become a venue where they can reach out to parents.

So, yes, I am blogging... but I will choose what to blog about.  I will not blog about Dale all the time with a long post, but will update about him from time to time.  I will collate other articles about differently-abled children and tell you about it.  I will still feature centers and schools on the blog.  Links can be found on the right side bar.

The facebook page is up and gaining more likes. Please Like us on Facebook!  Link can be found on the left hand side bar.  I am also the "expert" on special education at Xpert.ph.  When they approached me on becoming "expert,"  I really hesitated.  I mean, I am no expert!  Surely, someone who is a SPED teacher is best suited.  But they insisted, so yeah, if you're not a member yet, please register at Xpert.ph, it's a website where a team of experts on different fields can assist you on various topics.

So, thank you.  For everyone who still reads this blog.  I hope that I can still be of help to you, one way or another.  For personal stuff, though, I manage a different blog.  Hope to see you there, as well!

1st Tantrum for Grade 8

Dale is now in Grade 8 (2nd Year High School) and I learned from his brother Tony (Grade 7) that he cried at school yesterday during CL (Christian Living).  When I asked him, he said because the teacher said that it was bad if you did not go hear Mass.  Remembering the time that he didn't, he started feeling bad and cried.  The teacher had to call the Guidance counselor.

Of course, I had a talk with him again and he said "Oh. Is crying considered a tantrum?"  :)

A Date With Kuya Dale

super thirsty Dale

I am currently finishing my thesis and had to go to the university to talk to my Prof.  I took Dale with me.  It was a good day, even if this is the first time that other people was able to tell that he is special.  The first one was the guard from the LRT station.  As soon as he saw us, he asked, "Special po?  Dun po sa una." The next was my Prof.  He was quietly playing with my phone and I just told her he's my son, and she said "Yeah, I have a relative...."

It's no big deal, really.  I'm okay with it.  It's just.... it has been 14 years that we've lived like totally normal because nobody can really tell just by looking at him.  Today was a different story, maybe because he was really curious about his environment, like he was looking all around the train station (we rarely ride, maybe around 3 times since he was little), and this time I was teaching him already the basics like telling him what to say when he bought the tickets, how to insert the ticket properly, standing behind the yellow line, which station to alight, how to behave, what to do when an elderly, pregnant, or disabled person comes in.  Maybe, it's his attire because he was wearing just shorts and a shirt today (just because it was sooooo hot!) with his rubber shoes and he really looked like an overgrown baby.  Whatever it is, though, as I said it's okay.  I accept him for who he is and will forever love him.

All-in-all, it was a good day actually.  I rarely have alone time with Dale, what with Anton getting jealous and all.  After I was done with my meeting, we ate lunch first then went home.  He was very patient and helpful because he carried my other bag with my papers in it.  When we got home I told him "Thank you, Kuya, for coming with Mommy."  He said, "Okay."  I said "It was a good date."  To which he laughed and shook his head silly, "No! You're my Mom! I can't date my mother!"  LOL

Carly and Dale

It has been a long time since I wrote about Dale.  He's now 14 years old and will be in Grade 8 this coming June.  School was great because for the first time in years, he didn't get a line of 7 in his final grades and he finished 6th in the classroom.   Behavior was tolerable, from what his teacher said.  There was an episode where he ran to the library and hit a senior with a pen, but it was handled well.

He acquired another "annoying" habit of "taser-ing" his neck with his fingers.  Tasering, as he calls it, is like sending an electric shock through his body.  He said it helps him control the bad and evil thoughts that comes through his brain.

He also touches surfaces of the furniture or the light switch in rapid succession and tells me he is trying to ward off evil by his touch somehow.  He also asked if he could speak to a priest about it.  Of course, I said yes, but we haven't really gotten around to it somehow.

It's a tiring and hot summer, and all he wants to do is play on the computer or his Bolt (a tablet).  He is begging off violin lessons since it's summer vacation.  Maybe we'll go back as soon as school starts.

I feel terrible when most of the time I start to tell him to stop doing the things he is doing, like talking too much or whining when he doesn't get what he wants.  I should understand him better.  He asks me to pray with him before he sleeps because he said I help him to not think of other bad things.

He said that this attitude came also from him becoming a teenager now.  Come to think of it, maybe it is.  Maybe the normal rebellious teenager ways for him are these behaviors. 

There was this one time that we went to a family gathering, and he didn't want to swim.  He claims that the trees bother him.  We got into a fight where in all the frustration, I punched him in the arm (yes, I am a bad mother) and I just screamed at him and cried while we talked.  He even told me "You dare punch your own son?!" I told him things that I am not proud of and regret now.  I think all my patience ran out that day.  All my frustrations, I just let them melt and explode.  When I wasn't talking to him anymore, he silently slid on his trunks and went to swim because he said he didn't want me to get mad anymore.  He got out of the pool after an hour because I earlier said that "if you could only swim for one hour!"

The next day when we were both calm, I told him I was sorry and he said, "It's okay, Mom. I'm sorry, too, that I cannot follow everything you want me to do."

He reminds me now of Carly, the brave teenager who has autism and cannot talk.  She is now 17, I think.  Carly said here that her brain is wired differently.  Exactly what Dale told me years ago.  I am now telling myself to have more patience with him and be thankful that I have Dale, just as her parents have Carly.  No two children are alike, but Carly and Dale have something in common.  They just want to be happy.

Watch Carly's story below:

Helping Dale With School

Note:  This post has Filipino words.



Since Dale is now in Grade 7, everything levels up.  So here comes Filipino and AP (Araling Panlipunan, also known as Makabayan).  What we do is study them beforehand so when he comes to school, he knows some of the answers to the questions in the book.  One of his assignments was making his own fable.  I never thought that he would try making one, because I have always done his assignments (Yes, I am a bad mother!).  I was shocked when he said, "Here you go.  I think I have corrections, Mom!"

While I read what he made, I forced myself not to laugh.  I told him that we're going to fix it, but he did great.  Read what he made below:

Isang araw, mayroong maliit na pagong.Siya ay sa isang baybayin.Siya ay gutom at nagsimulang maghanap para sa pagkain.Sa kanyang paraan para sa paghahanap para sa pagkain niya nakilala ang isang sanggol alimango.Alimango ang sinabi "Saan ka pupunta?"."Ako na naghahanap para sa pagkain."Sinabi pagong ang."Alam ko ang isang lugar na puno ng pagkain."Sinabi ang alimango "Sa Aqua Cove! Makikita ninyo ang maraming ng pagkain doon, ngunit mag-ingat, ang panganib sa iyong paraan, ako gutom. Ko dapat dumating sa iyo.".

Kaya ang pagong at ang alimango ay nagsimulang ang kanilang mga paghahanap upang mahanap ang Aqua Cove upang makahanap ng pagkain upang punan ang kanilang stomachs. Ngunit sa kanilang paraan ay dumating pating isang! Sila ay tumakbo palayo mula sa pating, at pating ang chased kanila. Ang pagong at ang alimango May stuck sa isang patay na dulo. "Huwag matakot." Sinabi pating ang "Ako ay isang vegetarian". Kaya sila ay dumating at sinabi, "At bakit ka habol sa amin?". "Dahil alam ko ang pinakamabilis na paraan upang Aqua Cove." Sinabi pating, "Ito ay karapatan sa dulo ng kasalukuyang tabi sa amin." Kaya sila jumped sa kasalukuyang at off ang sila pumunta!

Ang mga guys naabot Aqua Cove tulad ng pating ang kanilang sinabi. "Salamat ng pating." Kanilang sinabi. At pagkain ay delicous! At sila ngayon pahinga sa kanilang mga bellies sa buong.

Ang Wakas.

When he passed his work, I included his original work so his teacher can see that he really did his homework, and maybe laugh a little.  :)

image from casapinka.typepad.com

Anyway, some homework or projects require some artwork and creativity.  I found a website that sells artistic tapes.  The tapes can be used as borders or just something to spruce up a journal or poster.  I haven't had the opportunity to purchase one, but I think from the pictures, it is a very cute way to be creative.  One tape is a hundred bucks, and some are bundled so you can get them much cheaper.  They're called Washi Tapes and you can check them out from Hey Kessy. :)

Dale and Girls

He looks too much like his Dad.

Dale will turn 14 this December.  We've had problems with regards to his sexuality as early as he was 9.  He would like watching love scenes in movies and tv shows.  He showed early malice.  However, when he turned 11, he understood how inappropriate some things are and he just stopped wanting to look at anything sensual, and with that came the embarrassment of kissing and hugging Mommy.

Dale is actually turning away from me during this shot.

He now does not want to hold my hand. He twists his hand away. :))  He explained that I am his Mom, and not his girlfriend.  I sometimes pout and say that maybe he doesn't love me anymore or he's embarrassed to be seen with me, so he just pats my back (the closest thing to a hug) and tells me that of course he loves me.

Happy day with Dale

He is growing up so fast.  He now towers over me.  Girls look at him differently now.  He claims that they are like "fangirls," because they call his name and pinch his cheek all the time.  "Cute," is the word they use to describe him.  I actually saw a girl give him a flying kiss last week on his way to school. @.@

His counselor said that Dale does not want to sit beside girls.  When I ask him this, he said, "You know about me and girls, Mom.  I don't want to get teased by my classmates."  

I asked him when he'll have a girlfriend, he said confidently "After college."


Before, I worry about his future, like would he be able to love?  To have a girlfriend?  To marry and have children?


When asked about the future, he said, "Mom what is the highest paying job?"  He said that he needs to have a high-paying job so he can buy a house where he could live with his wife.  He also claims that he will marry at age 26.  He computed the years when he will finish college, have a job, and save for a house.  He is really something!  

I can imagine how his kids would look like.  :)) Now, I rarely worry.  I am positive that he will accomplish his goals, and more.


p.s. 
It's actually the girls I'm worried about.  They are so liberated nowadays! PBBTeens!

Music, Dale, and Autism

There has been numerous researches and articles about the use of music therapy in autism.  I have no doubt that it can help.  Even with us folks, we have nothing special, but we feel different when we hear music.  It calms us.  It engages us.  It makes us feel alive.

Dale showed early signs of his interest in music when he started humming when he was younger.  He tinkered with the piano and can play simple tunes by ear.  Although he seldom sings, he can carry a tune.  My iPhone, which he borrows from time to time, now has his own folder.  His choice of apps are music and art related, as you can see from the picture on the side.

When I checked out the Glee application, I heard a song he said was his own composition.  It went a little like this:

"I'm roaming around, there's nothing I can do.
I'm roaming around, what should I do?"

It was funny!  I asked him why he did it, he said because I told him to stop roaming around.  :)

He also sang a song from one of his (and mine, as well) favorite bands, Viva la Vida by Coldplay.  It was nice because Dale speaks too fast most of the time, but in the song, I can understand him better.

On the violin:

I really wanted even one of my sons to learn the violin.  My first choice was to have Anton learn it.  However, he didn't want to study alone.  With budget restrictions, I told him they can't all study together.  We'd have to buy three violins!  So, Anton just went back to the choir.

Note:  Anton and Dale need church involvement.  Anton is in the choir, and Dale should've been in the rondalla, but he wanted to study violin instead.

Dale saw one girl from the rondalla playing the violin (?).  We asked and Don Bosco Makati has a program for people to learn music like guitar, violin, and piano for a small fee.


Note:  2,500 for the program!  Others cost 6,500.  When I asked his teacher about it, he said, it is part of his service to the Church.  :)

So, we bought a violin (1,600 from Raon), and a Suzuki 1 book (550 from Euphony).  His first official lesson started last Sunday.  Teacher Wes told me he did great!  He was able to finish more pages than most of the kids.  He was given homework when they were done.  It was a simple song that he has to practice.

I told him he needs to practice 30 minutes a day.  Yesterday, I didn't need to tell him to practice, he just went to my room and played the song for me.  He memorized it already! He didn't need to look at his book.

When his Dad asked me why we should enroll Dale to violin lessons, I told him, why shouldn't we?  As long as Dale shows interest in it, he will continue with his lessons.  We must do everything we could to make him better.

I love Dale the way he is.  With this quirks and weird gestures.  But, if there is a way to minimize them, I will try it, as I know that it sometimes "hurt" him.

One time, we were inside the church, he had a small tantrum wherein he shook his head more than usual, grimaced and told me "Mommy, I can't make it stop."

Now, how can I stop wanting to make him feel better?

First week

Yesterday, I sort of freaked out a bit coz Dale was already playing on the computer and he has not fixed his school requirements yet.

I checked his bag and saw that he was bringing his drawing notebooks to school. 4 big ones! I took them out and threw them on the floor. I said maybe he wasn't listening to his teachers and was drawing instead.

He quickly picked them up and said "mommy, you can get angry at me but please don't take it out on my notebooks... And I am listening to my teachers. I was about to fix my homework..." and he did.

Sigh.

Dale's McDonald's Kiddie Crew Experience

I enrolled my 2 boys (Dale and Tony) as Kiddie Crew at McDonald's Glorietta. Today is their 2nd day. I was apprehensive about Dale, as usual, being "exposed." Although I really am proud of him, I just have other thoughts that, again, Dale proved I shouldn't have.

During the orientation, they went on a tour around the store/kitchen. Dale was the oldest among the 7 crew members. They were given their uniform (shirt, cap, bag, and ID) and were asked to sing the kiddie crew song. Dale didn't want to sing, of course. I had to result to threats, like taking away his DS lite and no PC time, to no avail.

Their first day was no different. He still didn't want to sing. Although when it was their turn to go on the floor, he said "Mom, now this is more like it!" The boys were first assigned to clean tables, greet customers and assist them (bring their food to their tables) and the girls were assigned to take orders.

A foreigner gave Tony a tip, but the McDonald's staff-in-charge saw it and made Anton return it. But then another foreigner gave another boy a huge tip and he was persistent to give it to the boy, so they couldn't stop it from there... but then it was the boys' turn on the counter, so it was the girls who got most of the tips. haha!

See photos here. Video here.

They were given free spaghetti and drinks afterwards.

Today (2nd day), they were all assigned inside. Dale (I think because he was the tallest and oldest) was assigned to cook fries. Tony was taking and fixing orders. You can see from the video that Dale did well. The manager was happy about his performance. He danced a little even after getting a little burn on his finger.

When Dale was relieved of fries duty, a girl was asked to replace him but the crew said she gave up coz it was too hot and that the basket was heavy. Dale and Tony had a little fight coz we think Tony got a little jealous of Dale getting all the attention.

I then talked to the staff and told her if the two can be separated tomorrow, so that Dale won't mistakenly "steal" Tony's glory. hahaha. That was also the time I told them about Dale's little "problem." Everything turned out well!

Dale proved to be focused on the job, but needs to practice more on communication. Tomorrow will be their last day on the floor. Thursday will be their art workshop, and on Friday is their mini graduation at the branch. On May 28, there will be a grand graduation at the World Trade Center with the other Kiddie crew members around the metro.

See how they will dance on their graduation!

Thanks in advance to all the managers and staff of McDonald's Glorietta for their kindness and support! Everyone was helpful and encouraging. I wish we started doing this since Ate Anea so all of them had the chance to be part of your team. God bless you all.

My Teddy Bear

My professor asked us to do a reaction on this, and still I couldn't think of not including Dale in it.

THREE LETTERS FROM TEDDY

If ever a moral lesson was asked of me about this piece, they are compassion and perseverance -- two traits that any teacher should have to reach the ultimate potential of every student.

I wanted to become a teacher since I was young; however, I wasted my time when I grew up. I lost a clear goal and went on to a different path. I was not happy. I eventually became a teacher, a little too late, but still with perseverance, I have managed it.

Along the way, God gave me three wonderful children, one of whom he wrapped in special gold paper and labeled it with “handle with care.” When he turned two, I learned why. He was diagnosed as having autism. I dropped everything and concentrated on making him better. When he did get better, I returned my attention to teaching. There were obstacles along the way like getting sick, but eventually I also got well.

I had the chance to teach for a year in a classroom setting. There I learned compassion. I found out that no two children were alike and that some children need more attention than others. I am also not a hypocrite to say that I didn’t have favorites, because I did. =)

However, God gave me another trial and made me sick again. It did not stop me from continuing my education. I still am praying for healing so I can teach again; if not as a preschool teacher, then as a college professor. Now, even though I do not teach in a classroom setting, I get to teach my children still, especially my son.

So, here I am. Unlike Miss Thompson, I didn’t have a Teddy in my previous classroom, but I have a Teddy Bear forever in my heart. He is now sitting beside me, asking me how I can finish my “homework” if I keep on checking my tweets.

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.” -- Walter Elliott

A first

Dale attended his first Night Dance last night. He said he enjoyed himself, but he wanted to go home early because he used up all his "moves," which he also demonstrated to me. He also said, almost all the girls wanted to dance with him. Haha!

Here he is now, at 11 (going 12 on December 17)--

Anyway, he and Anton (his bro) was soaked with sweat when they got home. Anton told me to make them bring extra shirts next time. I told him as this was a first for me, I didn't know exactly what they needed to bring. =)

The second Night Dance will be on February. I'm hoping that Dale will enjoy it better than last night.

understanding death

Death is no laughing matter. It is only but normal for us to feel sad and cry when someone we know and love passes away.

My uncle died yesterday. Mom was out, and we couldn't find a way to tell her. We wanted her to know not when she's outside, but surrounded by us. I was the one who uttered the words that I knew would make her cry. I had nothing else to say. I cannot tell her to stop crying. I cannot say that everything will be alright. I cannot say that her brother's death was for the better. Selfish as I am, death is not something I can look and shrug at. I cannot think of anything positive about losing someone you care about.

All the time that Mom was crying, I was looking at Dale playing with my iPhone. He glanced back and forth at us. I knew he was a little confused. He does not like death, either. He cannot stand TV shows that shows cruelty, pain, and loss. He cries, shouts, hands on his ears, and runs to another room.

He then came to me and said "It's annoying. Make her stop. Why is she crying? He's just her brother!"

I had to hide my shock. My head was spinning with this new revelation.

Could it be that my son cannot feel remorse or sadness over this? Or did he just say that because he did not want his grandmother to feel this amount of pain?

During dinner, Mom told him about my uncle. Dale told her "Uh... let's stop. You might cry again."

This morning I asked him if he feels sad that my uncle died. He said "Uh... I really don't know him that well."

Then I asked, if ever I die, will he cry? He said "Of course, I will cry. But remember, Mama is still here." Meaning, he will still have someone else with him.

I asked him, what if we lose his brother or sister. He said "Um... I don't know. Sometimes, they are good to me, and sometimes they are not."

Death is plain and simple to Dale. There are no whos or whys. I do not know if it is good or bad. I do not know if I should be glad that he seems to be oblivious.

All I know is that I wish I'm still there for him when he suddenly understands death like the rest of us.

In celebrating Dale's freedom from the norm

Dale is turning 12 this December. He knows his condition, but does not dwell on it.

I, on the other hand, cannot take anything lightly. Not when it involves him. You might call me an over-reacting sensitive person. But, I am really, just a person. I have feelings, and I doubt that Dale does not have them as well.

So when a research paper on Genetic Abnormalities was asked of him. He submitted it to his teacher with one question. He asked, "Am I abnormal?"

I was shocked that according to him, his teacher "kinda said yes." I could see in his eyes that he was confused, that he was assessing my reaction. His eyes fleeted. His first answer was a definite "yes," but I asked him "what?" and he might have thought that I would get mad, and added "kinda."

I asked my eldest if it was right for the teacher to have said so. She shook her head.

I actually did not feel too much anger. I felt pity. For my son to have heard that. I would have wanted to be there, to actually hear what and how the teacher answered my son. I might have understood better.

Someone I shared a twitter conversation with said "When I hear "abnormal", I look at the world and think "if this is normal, I don't want any part of it!" Abnormal is to be celebrated."

It might be true, but not when you come from a country like mine. Abnormal here is like having a deadly disease that can be caught from a sneeze.

Sitting on the bus alone during the class field trip, for example. That was what Dale has gone through two days ago. Being dragged fiercely by the collar by his classmate while she was trying to talk to him was another scene I saw when I fetched him from school. Etc.

It's not enough that he gets bullied in school, his brother also makes fun of him and such, at home. He's "abnormal" and he's being bullied. He's "abnormal" and his brother is jealous of him.

What is there to celebrate about?

I am not celebrating the things that might eventually hurt Dale, if he actually.. finally understood the world he lives in.

A world where parents murder their children because they want normal kids. A country where persons with disabilities are shunned, and denied of their rights.

But then again... maybe, I do have to celebrate. I have to celebrate that until now, he doesn't have a clue. That it is a cruel world we live in... and he's lucky not to fully realize yet that he's part of it. A vicious cycle. A sick-cycle carousel.

As I've mentioned before when I watched an episode of House who handled a case of a child with autism, he said:

"See, skinny socially-privileged white people get to draw this neat little circle. Everyone inside this circle is normal. Anyone outside the circle should be beaten, broken, & reset, so they are brought in to the circle. Failing that you should be institutionalized, or worse, pitied."

"So, it's wrong to feel sorry for this little boy?"

"Why would you feel sorry for someone who gets opt-out of the inane courteous formalities which are utterly meaningless, insincere, and therefore degrading? This kid doesn't have to pretend to be interested in your back pain or your excretion or your grandmother's itchy place. Imagine how liberating to live a life free of all the mind-numbing social niceties. I don't pity this kid, I envy him."

You know what I think, though? Dale is not the one who's "abnormal."

We are.

(Hoozah! I'll go get the beers.)