Since Dale is graduating Junior High School (JHS), parents were invited by their current school for an orientation for Senior High School (SHS). Their batch will be the pioneer batch. The presentation was good, and maybe for students who will take up a non-specialized course in college, their current school's offering is fine. However, Kuya Dale wants to take up Game Development in college. We thought it will be good for him to enter SHS that will be beneficial to his future plans.
We looked into Game Development and found out that two schools near us offer it. La Salle and iAcademy. Normally, parents would choose La Salle, but since Dale is no ordinary student, I opted to look in iAcademy. I chose it because it is a smaller school with specialized facilities that is best suited for Dale's college preparation.
We attended the Open House on Sept. 26 and was given a registration form (for taking the entrance exams). Dale didn't want to fill it out until we finish the presentation and the tour. He signed it afterwards and took the exam. After less than an hour, he came back and told me it was an easy enough exam.
We were told to wait for the results and interview. It took more than an hour of waiting. So we had McDonald's delivered and ate lunch first. When it was our turn for the interview, we were told that he passed the test and got 91%. I also showed the interviewer his NCAE results and she was all too impressed. After the interview, Dale was given his acceptance letter.
We need to pay a PhP10,000 reservation fee on Thursday to make sure he gets a slot since they will only be taking in 250 students for SHS.
I was very impressed with how Dale handled a change in environment/schools, how he waited before he signed the form, with how he composed himself during the presentation, and how he questioned the guide during the tour. He really is coming of age and becoming a better person. Kudos to you, Kuya!
If you are a follower of this blog, you may remember that I told everyone that I will not post about Dale anymore because I want to give him his privacy. However, I cannot contain my happiness when I found out his NCAE results! I am so proud of him. See results below:
Congratulations, Kuya Dale! Keep up the very good work!
5 year-old Daniel is obsessed with watching the garbage truck come by their home to collect their trash. He would go out and mimic the trucks movements. What garbage collector, Manuel, did was simple but very heartfelt. Watch the video below:
Robin
Newberger’s son, 5-year-old son Daniel, has autism and loves watching
the garbage get collected. After seeing a video of a garbage truck years
earlier, Daniel quickly became obsessed with the large trucks.
So what happened one day when their trash collector Manuel paused his
usual routine is beyond awesome. Manuel’s good deed is going to be
recognized by his company, E.J. Harrison & Sons, and the thousands
of people who watch this video!
Robin
Newberger’s son, 5-year-old son Daniel, has autism and loves watching
the garbage get collected. After seeing a video of a garbage truck years
earlier, Daniel quickly became obsessed with the large trucks.
So what happened one day when their trash collector Manuel paused his
usual routine is beyond awesome. Manuel’s good deed is going to be
recognized by his company, E.J. Harrison & Sons, and the thousands
of people who watch this video!
Any children with a disability or disorder needs special
needs, ergo, they are called special children.They were not called as such because they have ice cream on top, or they
are supposed to be given preferential treatment.A little consideration, yes, but they also
just want to be normal just like you and me.
My son, Dale, once asked me
"Mom, can you help me?It's my
brain.I think it's wired
differently.I do not think like you or
everyone else.I have prayed every
night, just like you said.I asked God
to please, please, please make my brother and my classmates like me, but it's
not working. They still keep saying that
they hate me."As a mother, my
heart broke at what he said.I
cannot fathom why someone can say that they hate a person and mean it.Hate is such a strong word, and so is love; and
both should be said and given when it is true.
What can I say to my child that could make him feel
better?Is it really true that
everything will be okay in the end? That when I told him to just ignore the
bullies, will they really stop?
This is our society.When we
see a person who seems to be looking at nothing or seems to be laughing on his
own, we conclude that the person is mentally ill.When the person do not say "Hi!" back
at you or just hum when he is bored, we say he is autistic, "May sariling
mundo."
Then we go say "Aw..." at the new McDonald'scommercial, but never really understood what those brothers have gone
through.Children with Down Syndrome are
easily recognized because of their physical appearance, but what about the
other children with different disabilities?They
look just like you and me.If McDonald's
used a "KUYA" with ADHD, will you still
recognize his disability?Will you still
say "Aw...?"
Personally, if you see a differently-abled child, you do not
need to know what he's got.You need not
bother with labeling, especially if you are not there to help him.Labeling is important only to those who are
handling his case, like a therapist or a doctor.It is important for them so they can treat
him properly.Labeling should never be
used as a tool to ridicule a person or to limit his capabilities.
That is the reason behind wanting to change the label to CWA
(Children with Autism) from "autistic," because it becomes who they are.Thus, instead
of saying "I have autism," you define yourself by saying "I am
autistic."Autism is not the
person, autism is just a disorder he has.
And I dream of a world where we all know the difference.
It has been a long time since I wrote about Dale. He's now 14 years old and will be in Grade 8 this coming June. School was great because for the first time in years, he didn't get a line of 7 in his final grades and he finished 6th in the classroom. Behavior was tolerable, from what his teacher said. There was an episode where he ran to the library and hit a senior with a pen, but it was handled well.
He acquired another "annoying" habit of "taser-ing" his neck with his fingers. Tasering, as he calls it, is like sending an electric shock through his body. He said it helps him control the bad and evil thoughts that comes through his brain.
He also touches surfaces of the furniture or the light switch in rapid succession and tells me he is trying to ward off evil by his touch somehow. He also asked if he could speak to a priest about it. Of course, I said yes, but we haven't really gotten around to it somehow.
It's a tiring and hot summer, and all he wants to do is play on the computer or his Bolt (a tablet). He is begging off violin lessons since it's summer vacation. Maybe we'll go back as soon as school starts.
I feel terrible when most of the time I start to tell him to stop doing the things he is doing, like talking too much or whining when he doesn't get what he wants. I should understand him better. He asks me to pray with him before he sleeps because he said I help him to not think of other bad things.
He said that this attitude came also from him becoming a teenager now. Come to think of it, maybe it is. Maybe the normal rebellious teenager ways for him are these behaviors.
There was this one time that we went to a family gathering, and he didn't want to swim. He claims that the trees bother him. We got into a fight where in all the frustration, I punched him in the arm (yes, I am a bad mother) and I just screamed at him and cried while we talked. He even told me "You dare punch your own son?!" I told him things that I am not proud of and regret now. I think all my patience ran out that day. All my frustrations, I just let them melt and explode. When I wasn't talking to him anymore, he silently slid on his trunks and went to swim because he said he didn't want me to get mad anymore. He got out of the pool after an hour because I earlier said that "if you could only swim for one hour!"
The next day when we were both calm, I told him I was sorry and he said, "It's okay, Mom. I'm sorry, too, that I cannot follow everything you want me to do."
He reminds me now of Carly, the brave teenager who has autism and cannot talk. She is now 17, I think. Carly said here that her brain is wired differently. Exactly what Dale told me years ago. I am now telling myself to have more patience with him and be thankful that I have Dale, just as her parents have Carly. No two children are alike, but Carly and Dale have something in common. They just want to be happy.
It has been known that Dale has been afraid of a handful of things. The rain was the first which surfaced. Until now, when it rains, I always think if Dale is doing okay in school. I have been worried for almost seven years now. I cannot help worrying over him, especially when I am not with him.
That is, until today.
When we were about to watch the Dolphin show at Ocean Adventure (Subic), one of the coordinators approached us and asked if we were willing to let Dale be a volunteer for the Dolphin Encounter portion. Of course, I have to ask Dale first. He thought for a moment and said yes. I told the coordinator that we'll give it a try.
I was worried about the ramp where he is going to walk on because it's just some sort of a float. But he walked slowly but bravely, and told us he can do it.I caught him on video practicing the moves he would have to make. Still, I cannot help worrying. You can hear me saying his name on video, worried that he might go over the fence, spinning like he was.I went back to my seat, because I'm not allowed to be with him, and then waited, wishing that everything will be fine.
Then, as if God was making fun of me.... it rained.
I ran back to the holding deck and told the coordinator that Dale was scared of the rain, so if she can please let me in, and that if she can find someone else.
And then I thought, maybe this is not God making fun of me, but God pushing Dale to go further showing him that there is nothing to be afraid of.
I then told her to talk to Dale first if he's willing to get wet in the rain.She came back with a smile and said that Dale thought for a moment and said yes.
With more than a hundred people about to watch my son... they started watching me as I prayed. I said, please do not make it harder for him than it already is.... watching the other side of the sky... seeing the rain falling harder there... about to come to us still...
He came on the ramp without a care.
He went almost on the edge possibly without fear.
He touched the dolphin with careful hands.
He snapped his hand back when they said he could touch the dolphin's tongue.
He made them dance.He made them dive.
All of these he did without me by his side.
It felt like God was laughing in the heavens and telling me... "See? There really was nothing to be afraid of."
Because at that moment, I realized, I was the one who was scared.
Dale was there to make me brave, because he already is.
I learned about it from our egroup at the Autism Society Philippines. To say that I was disappointed was an understatement. When I read the reaction of the running senatoriable, Mrs. Roco, my disappointment turned into fury.
I am not a follower of the election brouhaha.. even before.. i rarely watch news 'coz it makes me feel down.. all the killing, the corruption.. it's sickening to watch.
But, since I was old enough to vote, and I DO vote, I have learned to study the candidates, and how they could help our country. And I'm glad to say that the senators I have voted, have been of great help to this country.
I have been a fan of the late Senator Raul Roco, and his stand on education. I felt a little sad when he died. It was a terrible loss.
That was why I couldn't fathom why his wife would comment like that on TV. An educator, a mother, and a graduate of Ateneo, no less.
To better explain my side, you may read this post:
Dang Koe, President of Autism Society Philippines, sent this reaction to Inquirer soon after senatorial bet Sonia Roco made this comment on national television.......
"Para naman silang mga autistic...me sariling mundo".
This is what Senatorial candidate Sonia Roco said when interviewed on TV Patrol Monday evening newscast, regarding Team Unity's reaction to poll surveys on Top 12 senators. She followed her statement with a hearty laugh.
But we could not laugh with her.
Coming from a respectable Educator like Mrs. Roco, families of Filipinos with autism could not help but feel hurt by such statement, given the context when it was said. After all, we have worked so hard for the past 20 years to educate Filipinos about autism, and to remove the social stigma associated with it.
We can't help but wonder...if a poll survey is to be conducted now among the estimated 400,000 Filipino families (multiply that please with the number of family members, relatives and professional involved), what would be Mrs. Roco's ranking?
Dang Uy Koe President Autism Society Philippines
and this is Mrs. Roco's official statement:
April 6, 2007
Dear Ms. Dang Uy Koe
The comment was not intended to hurt you or those who have worked hard for 20 years to remove the social stigma associated with autism.
Please allow me to clarify that the statement was uttered in a context not meant to deride or demean those who are suffering from autism and the people like you who care for them.
It was simply a quick answer to the question,"what can you say about the Team Unity claiming they will make 12-0? My reply was " ano ba sila dreaming? para silang autistic, may sariling mundo."
".may sariling mundo" was what I added to my main statement. We are each living in our own individual world, while being members of a whole. That was the only reference I meant, insinuating that Team Unity is so engrossed in their own world that they shut out the realities of the community around them. The answer was directed to Team Unity and to Team Unity alone.
I am sorry. if as you have expressed, the statement hurt you and the 400,000 families you represent.
It might be of help to let you know that I had a sister who was a special child and at that time, she was called "retarded" and all those similarly situated were branded retardates. In Raul's family, his youngest sister was labelled by psychologists as "mongoloid", now termed Down's syndrome or Trisomie. Yes, I understand where you are coming from. as I hope you will understand to whom the commentary was directed to.
I appreciate your feedback. I have learned my lesson. If there is any way I could be of help just in case I make it to the Senate, with your support which I pray you will bless me with, please feel free to contact me anytime.
May this Easter bring us Peace and Understanding.
Thank you and God bless.
Yours Sincerely, Sonia M. Roco
and after Mrs. Roco have had her say, I still couldn't get over the hurt. My son Dale, now 8, has been diagnosed as having Autism at the age of 3. At the age when we should have started to 'enjoy' him like any 'normal' kid.
Like Mrs. Roco said, she knows how it feels, having relatives who are special. And yet, that was my main point... You know, and yet you use the word "autism" as plainly as it was like a dreaded disease. And you finish off with a 'hearty laugh'?
And you said you were not directing it to the autistic community?
Now, I'm the one giving the hearty laugh.
How could you use the word 'autistic' and not direct it to the autistic community? Do you really know what 'autistic' means?
If I were to tell Mrs. Roco about how I truly feel, I would tell her this:
You do not know what it felt like to hear a diagnostician tell you that your son has Autism.
You do not know how it felt like not having enough money to bring him to therapy.
You do not know how my eyes felt heavy every night that I cried myself to sleep.
You do not know how painful it was to see people looking at your son differently.
You do not know how I turned down all opportunities for a better career so I could concentrate on getting my son all better.
You do not know how I felt when he climbs tables and high surfaces, with him, oblivious to danger.
You do not know how I felt when he couldn't tell me he wanted the cookie on top of the shelf.
You do not know how I felt when he was hospitalized over and over for infantile asthma since he was 4 months old.
You do not know how hurtful it was for me when he couldn't utter a single word at 3 years old.
You do not know how hurt I was when he couldn't even look at me even for 5 seconds.
You do not know how I cried and how I couldn't answer the doctors' questions when we rushed him to the hospital when he seized.
You do not know how many prayers I uttered while I was cradling him in the car, telling my husband to please drive faster, holding Dale firmly, shaking him a little, getting him to stop seizing.
You do not know how blurry your vision gets when you see all the doctors in the ER gravitating on your seizing son, talking in jargons you do not understand, making you scream 'what is happening to my son?!'
You do not know how loud the MRI machine gets when you're in the room with your son, with induced sleep, as the doctors were trying to look at what's wrong with his brain, and after everything, they do not find anything wrong. Not a tiny dot of anything. He just seized because HE JUST DID. Because research says that more than half of 'austistic' children have seizure disorders. You cannot cure it. You do not know when it will happen next.
You do not know how many paces I walked waiting for him to wake up from that induced sleep. TOO MANY.
You do not know how painful it was for me to try to make him drink Phenobarbital mixed in Yakult every day for 3 months.
But then...
You do not know how happy I was when he started talking.
You did not see my cry when he stopped walking on tiptoes.
You don't have a slightest idea how ecstatic I was when he started being patient.
You didn't see him when he graduated from SPED with honors.
You weren't the one who enrolled him to a regular school as Grade One FULL MAINSTREAM.
You didn't see him when he danced, when he recited a poem, when he topped the Math exam.
You weren't here when hugs me and tells me he loves me.
(and these were just a fraction of what I went through with Dale)
You are ignorant. Because you are not me. You are not us. So, don't go on national TV, or write a letter telling us that you understand. That you know how it feels. That you have relatives.
'Coz you do not have my DALE.
When I learned that you were running for Senator, I didn't need to search the internet about you. I thought, 'how bad could a mother, an educator, and a wife of the late Senator Roco be?'
