of harsh realities and language barriers

nung Sunday, nagsimba kami ng 10 am.. kasama ko yung dalawang kasambahay namin at ang tatlong bata... galit na galit sa akin si Dale  kasi ayaw niyang magsimba... eto ang takbo ng usapan namin (pabulong ako, pasigaw siya):

Dale: I hate you Mommy... I don't love you... I want to go to Mama to the States! hmp! hmp!

Ako: Baby, we're inside the church... do not shout.

Dale: I don't want to simba eh. hmp! hmp!

(kasalanan ko to, simula ng umalis ang paryentes ko, hindi na kami nakakasimba ng regular)

Ako: But you have to go to church every Sunday starting now.

(i recently promised myself that i will teach my kids the value of religion, even if i don't actually believe in it)

Dale: No, i don't want to go to church... i'm going home! hmp! hmp!

(by now, napapansin niyo na siguro na mahilig siyang magsabi ng 'hmp!' pag galit siya)

Ako: Baby, you are not going home. You're going to finish the service. We'll go home after an hour.

Dale: I don't love you! I love Mama and Papa. Pupunta ko ng States! hmp! hmp!

(may tears na ito... and when he cries his dimples start to show... hehe... Dale's expression of disappointment in someone is telling him/her that he doesn't love that person... but he doesn't mean it, believe me...)

Ako: Baby, you need a passport and a ticket to go to the States. Shush!

(looking at me quizzically...)

Dale: what's that?

Ako: (patay mali) what's what?

Dale: passport! what's that?

Ako: ah.. eh... it's like an ID that you use in school... you need to have an ID before they let you go to the States. (darn it.)

Dale: I have an ID! (oo nga naman...)

Ako: You have a school ID. But you don't have a passport.

(silence... di na niya siguro ma-gets... ako rin eh.)

Dale: I want to go to the States. hmp! hmp!

Ako: Baby, you don't have a ticket, too.

Dale: I will buy ticket. hmp! hmp!

(karga ko na siya nito)

Ako: Baby, the ticket to the States costs too much.

Dale: How much?

Ako: (thinking that he wouldn't grasp the concept of money) we can't afford it. It's too expensive.

Dale: How much??? (okay, okay!)

Ako: Ok, it's 60T pesos.

Dale: What??? 60T???!!! Not one thousand? (astoundingly loud with matching hand gestures)

Ako: Shush! No, baby... it's 60T.

(resting his head on my shoulder, feeling resigned...)


(after a while, he asked me another heart-wrenching question...)

Dale: Do you have 60T?

Ako: (utang na loob!!!!!) No, baby... I don't even have one thousand...


tumahimik na siya nito.. dinala ko na rin kasi siya sa sindihan ng kandila para medyo malibang...

Dale speaks in English ever since he could speak. We often experience some difficulty with this 'coz not all people the he encounters are equipped with an english tongue. even his Dad gets frustrated at times.. hehe...

Yung teacher niya hindi alam kung magrereklamo o pupurihin siya kasi minsan daw nauubusan siya ng english... and there's only two of them in class who speaks in english... Dale and Kim (guapo at autistic din)...

Like dati nung nasa hospital siya, he was constantly eating pizza that he was dubbed as the 'pizza boy' by the nurses...

Doctor: eto pala yung pizza boy...

(Dale was watching TV and eating pizza and ignoring the nice doctor)

Doctor: ano'ng kinakain mo kuya? (listening to his breathing, taking his temp, and all that jazz)

(Dale still watching the TV, ignores the nice doctor)

Doctor: kuya... ano'ng kinakain mo?

(Dale still watching the TV, ignores the nice doctor)

Doctor: and suplado naman ni kuya... (sabay hawak sa chin niya)

Ako: er... you might wanna try talking to him in english... (wincing)

Doctor: ay, ganon? english spokening dollars pala si kuya eh... kuya, what's that you're eating?

Dale: (not taking his eyes of the TV) pizza.

I sometimes feel apologetic at some point that I realized Dale needs to learn how to speak and understand Tagalog... so we let him watch Tagalog shows on TV... and translate Engligh words to him to Tagalog... minsan he asks the Tagalog word himself...

Now, he understands Tagalog and speaks in Tagalog, too... sinasanay na namin... but he sounds funny when he does... medyo slang. haha.

naawa ako sa kanya 'coz he couldn't understand some of life's realities... pero little by little, he's coming out of his shell... and i'm sure that sooner or later, he will be able to understand that not all roses are red.

i'm just hoping that it will come sooner and not later...

Bea's first birthday party...

Yesterday was Bea's 1st birthday, and her party was at McDonald's New Frontier... it was fun... especially since Dale and Anton were having so much of it... they gamely went through one game to another... jumping all around the place and totally enjoying themselves... have a look:



Both of them got thrown out of this game.. but they didn't throw a fit either, unlike before... so i guess, it was really pretty amazing...

fishy...

Dale started to eat pritong Alumahan two days ago...

and he keeps on asking for some... hehehe...

constant improvement...

Dale is improving, according to his teacher... we always encourage him to write everyday and listen to his teacher...

and he does them because I said if he doesn't I will call Papa and tell him not to send Dale CDs with games anymore.

I'm such a bad Mom. hehehe.

a life full of images

marami akong hindi naisulat sa blog na ito. kaninang tiningnan ko ang aking telepono (cheap lang to, kaya malabo ang mga litrato), ang dami na palang mga litrato dito. at nalaman ko rin na merong ibang taong gumamit. hehehe. kaya ngayong day-off ko naman at wala akong gagawin dito sa bahay, naisipan kong i-post na ang mga litratong ito...

ito ang mga litratong sabi ni Dale ay siya raw ang kumuha:





ang yaya Baby nila:



at ang calculator na ginagamit niya pag tinatanong ko siya ng ten minus six at gusto niyang mandaya (ngayon ay wala na ang calculator na ito. har-har-har!):



na pati ang TV kinunan din:



kung kanino mang ano ito, ayoko ng alamin:



at ang mga ito naman ay in-edit niya gamit ng software sa
aking telepono na ang tawag ay FotoFunPack2:



at ang sunog sa may amin habang ako ay kumakain ng
paborito kong mangga at isda:



ito naman ang mga hitsura ko pag ako ay nasisiraan ng bait (bagong gising):



o kung ako ay nasa opisina at nakikinig ng mp3s:



ito ang pamangkin kong kasing cute ko, pero mas maldita kesa sa kin:





na naglalakad na, kaso lang laging natutumba:



at ang bebe kong school boy na:



at ang aking anak na kambal:



noon pa ako nagke-crave ng talaba... nami-miss ko kasi ang inuman ng tatay ko at mga kaibigan niya... hindi nawawalan dati ng talaba sa lamesang puro pulutan. nasabi ko ito kay Ronald matagal na, at isang araw, dumating siya sa bahay ng may dalang talaba, tahong, at tokwa--lahat paborito ko... yun nga lang, pahirapan. kasi pers taym kong gagawa ng kilawing talaba. di ko alam kung pano ito bubuksan (nalaman ko na lang after na pinapakuluan pala yun para bumuka--huateber!!!!). ito ang naging resulta:





hindi ko na nakunan ang finished product, kasi pagkaluto palang nito sa suka, finished na siya agad at napunta na sa tsan ni Ronald. Mana ako sa tatay ko pag tsumatsamba sa pagluluto.

and lastly, images that will never make the Mirror Project:



maraming nangyayari sa buhay ko na hindi ko rin nailalagay lahat dito... meron kasing mga bagay na nakakalimutan, meron din namang mga bagay na ayoko ng maalala pa kahit kelan.

pero sa lahat ng taong naging parte ng buhay ko... sa lahat ng karamay sa saya at lungkot... SALAMAT NG MARAMI.