Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Parents Of Grown Offspring With Autism More Likely To Split Up
Parents Of Grown Offspring With Autism More Likely To Split Up
The parents of grown children with autism are more likely to divorce than couples with typically developing children, according to new data from a large longitudinal study of families of adolescents and adults with autism.
The study, published in the August issue of the Journal of Family Psychology by researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Madison's Waisman Center, paints a new picture of the prospects of long-term marital success for parents raising a child with autism.
The study is the first to track marital history of parents of adult children with autism. It reveals that, in contrast to previous assumptions, parents do not have a greater risk of divorce when their son or daughter with autism is young. However, as the child with autism grows into adolescence and adulthood, parents are more likely to divorce than are parents of typically developing children. Although findings reveal diminished prospects for a lasting marriage for parents raising a child with autism, the majority of marriages in this study survived.
The study compared the marital fates of 391 couples - the parents of adolescent and adult children with autism - to a sample drawn from another large longitudinal study, the National Survey of Midlife in the United States (MIDUS). The goal of the study was to document the rate and timing of divorce of parents of children with autism, explains Sigan Hartley, a UW-Madison assistant professor of human development and family studies and lead author of the report.
The study revealed that the divorce rate for parents of children with autism mirrors the divorce rate of the parents of children without disabilities until the child reaches 8 years of age. After that, the divorce rate goes down for parents of children without disabilities but remains high for parents of children with autism.
"There seems to be a prolonged vulnerability for divorce in parents of children with autism," says Hartley. "Typically, if couples can survive the early child-rearing years, parenting demands decrease and there is often less strain on the marriage. However, parents of children with autism often continue to live with and experience high parenting demands into their child's adulthood, and thus marital strain may remain high in these later years."
Autism, also known as autism spectrum disorder or ASD, has symptoms that vary considerably in severity between individuals, but core characteristics of the disorder include difficulty establishing and maintaining social relationships, delayed communication skills, and repetitive motions such as rocking back and forth and hand flapping. Children with autism frequently require high levels of care and continue to live with parents as adults.
"There is a lifelong profile of challenging behaviors and symptoms associated with autism," Hartley notes. "Few developmental disabilities appear to be more taxing on parents and there is a great need for support services for families when the child is an adolescent and adult. Providing support for couples to help them work on their marriages is an obvious step. If we can get information and support to these families, we hope to be able to support lasting marriages."
The new study compares data from two large longitudinal studies, the Adolescents and Adults with Autism Study, directed by Marsha Mailick Seltzer, a UW-Madison professor of social work and director of the Waisman Center, and MIDUS, directed by UW-Madison psychology professor Carol Ryff. Both studies are funded by the U.S. National Institutes of Health.
Source: University of Wisconsin-Madison
The parents of grown children with autism are more likely to divorce than couples with typically developing children, according to new data from a large longitudinal study of families of adolescents and adults with autism.
The study, published in the August issue of the Journal of Family Psychology by researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Madison's Waisman Center, paints a new picture of the prospects of long-term marital success for parents raising a child with autism.
The study is the first to track marital history of parents of adult children with autism. It reveals that, in contrast to previous assumptions, parents do not have a greater risk of divorce when their son or daughter with autism is young. However, as the child with autism grows into adolescence and adulthood, parents are more likely to divorce than are parents of typically developing children. Although findings reveal diminished prospects for a lasting marriage for parents raising a child with autism, the majority of marriages in this study survived.
The study compared the marital fates of 391 couples - the parents of adolescent and adult children with autism - to a sample drawn from another large longitudinal study, the National Survey of Midlife in the United States (MIDUS). The goal of the study was to document the rate and timing of divorce of parents of children with autism, explains Sigan Hartley, a UW-Madison assistant professor of human development and family studies and lead author of the report.
The study revealed that the divorce rate for parents of children with autism mirrors the divorce rate of the parents of children without disabilities until the child reaches 8 years of age. After that, the divorce rate goes down for parents of children without disabilities but remains high for parents of children with autism.
"There seems to be a prolonged vulnerability for divorce in parents of children with autism," says Hartley. "Typically, if couples can survive the early child-rearing years, parenting demands decrease and there is often less strain on the marriage. However, parents of children with autism often continue to live with and experience high parenting demands into their child's adulthood, and thus marital strain may remain high in these later years."
Autism, also known as autism spectrum disorder or ASD, has symptoms that vary considerably in severity between individuals, but core characteristics of the disorder include difficulty establishing and maintaining social relationships, delayed communication skills, and repetitive motions such as rocking back and forth and hand flapping. Children with autism frequently require high levels of care and continue to live with parents as adults.
"There is a lifelong profile of challenging behaviors and symptoms associated with autism," Hartley notes. "Few developmental disabilities appear to be more taxing on parents and there is a great need for support services for families when the child is an adolescent and adult. Providing support for couples to help them work on their marriages is an obvious step. If we can get information and support to these families, we hope to be able to support lasting marriages."
The new study compares data from two large longitudinal studies, the Adolescents and Adults with Autism Study, directed by Marsha Mailick Seltzer, a UW-Madison professor of social work and director of the Waisman Center, and MIDUS, directed by UW-Madison psychology professor Carol Ryff. Both studies are funded by the U.S. National Institutes of Health.
Source: University of Wisconsin-Madison
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
understanding death
Death is no laughing matter. It is only but normal for us to feel sad and cry when someone we know and love passes away.
My uncle died yesterday. Mom was out, and we couldn't find a way to tell her. We wanted her to know not when she's outside, but surrounded by us. I was the one who uttered the words that I knew would make her cry. I had nothing else to say. I cannot tell her to stop crying. I cannot say that everything will be alright. I cannot say that her brother's death was for the better. Selfish as I am, death is not something I can look and shrug at. I cannot think of anything positive about losing someone you care about.
All the time that Mom was crying, I was looking at Dale playing with my iPhone. He glanced back and forth at us. I knew he was a little confused. He does not like death, either. He cannot stand TV shows that shows cruelty, pain, and loss. He cries, shouts, hands on his ears, and runs to another room.
He then came to me and said "It's annoying. Make her stop. Why is she crying? He's just her brother!"
I had to hide my shock. My head was spinning with this new revelation.
Could it be that my son cannot feel remorse or sadness over this? Or did he just say that because he did not want his grandmother to feel this amount of pain?
During dinner, Mom told him about my uncle. Dale told her "Uh... let's stop. You might cry again."
This morning I asked him if he feels sad that my uncle died. He said "Uh... I really don't know him that well."
Then I asked, if ever I die, will he cry? He said "Of course, I will cry. But remember, Mama is still here." Meaning, he will still have someone else with him.
I asked him, what if we lose his brother or sister. He said "Um... I don't know. Sometimes, they are good to me, and sometimes they are not."
Death is plain and simple to Dale. There are no whos or whys. I do not know if it is good or bad. I do not know if I should be glad that he seems to be oblivious.
All I know is that I wish I'm still there for him when he suddenly understands death like the rest of us.
Friday, July 30, 2010
In celebrating Dale's freedom from the norm
Dale is turning 12 this December. He knows his condition, but does not dwell on it.I, on the other hand, cannot take anything lightly. Not when it involves him. You might call me an over-reacting sensitive person. But, I am really, just a person. I have feelings, and I doubt that Dale does not have them as well.
So when a research paper on Genetic Abnormalities was asked of him. He submitted it to his teacher with one question. He asked, "Am I abnormal?"
I was shocked that according to him, his teacher "kinda said yes." I could see in his eyes that he was confused, that he was assessing my reaction. His eyes fleeted. His first answer was a definite "yes," but I asked him "what?" and he might have thought that I would get mad, and added "kinda."
I asked my eldest if it was right for the teacher to have said so. She shook her head.
I actually did not feel too much anger. I felt pity. For my son to have heard that. I would have wanted to be there, to actually hear what and how the teacher answered my son. I might have understood better.
Someone I shared a twitter conversation with said "When I hear "abnormal", I look at the world and think "if this is normal, I don't want any part of it!" Abnormal is to be celebrated."
It might be true, but not when you come from a country like mine. Abnormal here is like having a deadly disease that can be caught from a sneeze.
Sitting on the bus alone during the class field trip, for example. That was what Dale has gone through two days ago. Being dragged fiercely by the collar by his classmate while she was trying to talk to him was another scene I saw when I fetched him from school. Etc.
It's not enough that he gets bullied in school, his brother also makes fun of him and such, at home. He's "abnormal" and he's being bullied. He's "abnormal" and his brother is jealous of him.
What is there to celebrate about?
I am not celebrating the things that might eventually hurt Dale, if he actually.. finally understood the world he lives in.
A world where parents murder their children because they want normal kids. A country where persons with disabilities are shunned, and denied of their rights.
But then again... maybe, I do have to celebrate. I have to celebrate that until now, he doesn't have a clue. That it is a cruel world we live in... and he's lucky not to fully realize yet that he's part of it. A vicious cycle. A sick-cycle carousel.
As I've mentioned before when I watched an episode of House who handled a case of a child with autism, he said:
"See, skinny socially-privileged white people get to draw this neat little circle. Everyone inside this circle is normal. Anyone outside the circle should be beaten, broken, & reset, so they are brought in to the circle. Failing that you should be institutionalized, or worse, pitied."
"So, it's wrong to feel sorry for this little boy?"
"Why would you feel sorry for someone who gets opt-out of the inane courteous formalities which are utterly meaningless, insincere, and therefore degrading? This kid doesn't have to pretend to be interested in your back pain or your excretion or your grandmother's itchy place. Imagine how liberating to live a life free of all the mind-numbing social niceties. I don't pity this kid, I envy him."
"So, it's wrong to feel sorry for this little boy?"
"Why would you feel sorry for someone who gets opt-out of the inane courteous formalities which are utterly meaningless, insincere, and therefore degrading? This kid doesn't have to pretend to be interested in your back pain or your excretion or your grandmother's itchy place. Imagine how liberating to live a life free of all the mind-numbing social niceties. I don't pity this kid, I envy him."
You know what I think, though? Dale is not the one who's "abnormal."
We are.
(Hoozah! I'll go get the beers.)
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Create and Discover Integrated School
The CDIS-CCSN is an academic institution known for its credible and truthful evaluation of its students’ behaviour and performance in the school. It has provided a competent teaching staff and a conducive environment which attends to the growing demands of early learners.
Create and Discover Integrated School or CDIS is a progressive pre-school which values the uniqueness of the child and their individual desires to learn. Over the years, it has produced graduates who have been accepted in reputable schools here in Metro Manila. It is also worth mentioning that a large portion of our pre-school graduates have consistently topped their classes. We are deeply inspired and committed to continue this quality formation of children enrolled in CDIS this year and in the years to come.
Centre for Children with Special Needs or CCSN is a clinical and educational institution which caters to the specific individual needs of children with different exceptionalities. These include children with communication, behavioural, social, cognitive and physical differences. It is a multi-disciplinary centre which includes several professionals, licensed therapists and teachers, working together toward a common goal, and that is, to further your child’s skills and maximize his potentials to achieve further independence.
Lot 3 Block 50 Burney Street Fairmont Subdivision North Fairview QC
(02) 418-2046
Email : cdis_ccsn@yahoo.ca
Create and Discover Integrated School or CDIS is a progressive pre-school which values the uniqueness of the child and their individual desires to learn. Over the years, it has produced graduates who have been accepted in reputable schools here in Metro Manila. It is also worth mentioning that a large portion of our pre-school graduates have consistently topped their classes. We are deeply inspired and committed to continue this quality formation of children enrolled in CDIS this year and in the years to come.
Centre for Children with Special Needs or CCSN is a clinical and educational institution which caters to the specific individual needs of children with different exceptionalities. These include children with communication, behavioural, social, cognitive and physical differences. It is a multi-disciplinary centre which includes several professionals, licensed therapists and teachers, working together toward a common goal, and that is, to further your child’s skills and maximize his potentials to achieve further independence.
Lot 3 Block 50 Burney Street Fairmont Subdivision North Fairview QC
(02) 418-2046
Email : cdis_ccsn@yahoo.ca
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
I'm a Coward.
It has been known that Dale has been afraid of a handful of things. The rain was the first which surfaced. Until now, when it rains, I always think if Dale is doing okay in school. I have been worried for almost seven years now. I cannot help worrying over him, especially when I am not with him.
That is, until today.
When we were about to watch the Dolphin show at Ocean Adventure (Subic), one of the coordinators approached us and asked if we were willing to let Dale be a volunteer for the Dolphin Encounter portion. Of course, I have to ask Dale first. He thought for a moment and said yes. I told the coordinator that we'll give it a try.
I was worried about the ramp where he is going to walk on because it's just some sort of a float. But he walked slowly but bravely, and told us he can do it. I caught him on video practicing the moves he would have to make. Still, I cannot help worrying. You can hear me saying his name on video, worried that he might go over the fence, spinning like he was. I went back to my seat, because I'm not allowed to be with him, and then waited, wishing that everything will be fine.
Then, as if God was making fun of me.... it rained.
I ran back to the holding deck and told the coordinator that Dale was scared of the rain, so if she can please let me in, and that if she can find someone else.
And then I thought, maybe this is not God making fun of me, but God pushing Dale to go further showing him that there is nothing to be afraid of.
I then told her to talk to Dale first if he's willing to get wet in the rain. She came back with a smile and said that Dale thought for a moment and said yes.
With more than a hundred people about to watch my son... they started watching me as I prayed. I said, please do not make it harder for him than it already is.... watching the other side of the sky... seeing the rain falling harder there... about to come to us still...
He came on the ramp without a care.
He went almost on the edge possibly without fear.
He touched the dolphin with careful hands.
He snapped his hand back when they said he could touch the dolphin's tongue.
He made them dance. He made them dive.
All of these he did without me by his side.
It felt like God was laughing in the heavens and telling me... "See? There really was nothing to be afraid of."
Because at that moment, I realized, I was the one who was scared.
Dale was there to make me brave, because he already is.
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